Oh! Apostrophe

Day in the Life {Evening}

2012-01-24T11:45:00.001-05:00

{Morning}
{Afternoon}

3:15 pm. I give Finn a few minutes to work it out for himself, but pretty soon it's clear that his nap is over. He's grumpy and nurses for a little while again which helps a bit. We play in his room.

3:45 pm. We're all bundled up again and heading to Target. It's strange not to pack Finn into his car seat first; we just started using his new convertible car seat last week. It looks more comfortable to me, but it seems like he hates getting in and out of it even more than he did with his old seat. (We got this one.)

4:00 pm. We head in to Target. I have six things on a list, but of course we end up with about four times that many items in our cart. We spend under a hundred bucks though, so it's a success.

5:00 pm. We're back in the car and headed home, but Finn's dad calls to see if we want to grab dinner. He's out of work a bit early and has time before heading to his grad school class (he's getting his master's degree, and this is the last evening class ever, YAY).

5:10 pm. We meet up at Punk's Backyard Grill for dinner.

Finn eats some puffs while we wait for our food.

5:15 pm. Finn tries macaroni and cheese for the first time. It's a hit.

6 pm. We're back at home after finishing dinner, and Finn's dad is on his way to his class. We took the rest of Finn's mac and cheese to go and it's dinnertime part two for him.

Dessert is pears.

6:30 pm. We head upstairs for bed a little early since Finn's second nap was so short today. In the winter we only do a bath every other night and tonight is not the night. Finn gets a clean double-stuffed diaper.

And his robot pjs.

Of course he gets a bit of a second wind and wants to play in his room now.

We read a bedtime story. (Or three.)

7 pm. I put Finn in his sleep sack and it's time to nurse.

7:35 pm. He's squirmy and grabbing my face and seemingly trying to pull my nose off while he nurses. I text his dad that he's showing zero signs of wanting to go to sleep.

7:45 pm. He's out.

8:00 pm. I rock him for a few more minutes and tell him to have sweet baby dreams. I love my days home with him.

Day in the Life {Afternoon}

2012-01-23T15:00:00.001-05:00

{Morning}

12:50 pm. Finn's dad is home for lunch!

1:15 pm. We're all finished with lunch and Finn gets to play with his dad for a few minutes before he heads back to work.

1:30 pm. Finn has to settle with playing with Duncan now. Duncan's not happy about it.

We fill the next hour with this:

Big Christmas gift hit- the ball popper:

Up on the coffee table:

Spotted something more exciting...

This was a cousin hand-me-down and Finn loves it:

Moving on:

Musical instruments:

This one makes a cool sound when you bang it on the stairs:

Doodlebugs activity station is always a favorite:

Back to the beads:

We've got to pull out a few more toys, clearly:

Mom's favorite, the stuffed tools, have a parade:

The screwdriver makes a good teether:

And the saw is crinkly.

2:30 pm. We are both ready for a nap. We head upstairs for a clean diaper, sleep sack, and nursing.
2:40 pm. Finn's asleep.
2:45 pm. I'm asleep.
3:10 pm. But not anymore.

Day in the Life {Morning}

2012-01-21T00:30:00.001-05:00

{The last time I did this Finn was five months old and things have changed so much! Here's a glimpse into one of my days at home with Finn at almost ten months...)

6:45 am. Finn's been asleep for eleven hours and wakes up fussy as has been the norm for about a week now. We're blaming it on the molars that are starting to push through in lumpy bumps along his top gums. Poor guy. I stumble out of bed and nurse him in his room. He calms easily and gives me a big smile once he's filled his stomach a bit.

7:00 am. I take Finn out of his warm and cozy sleep sack and change his diaper. He's started absolutely hating diaper changes, and this first one is no exception today. Finn's dad comes in to distract him a little and kiss him goodbye as he heads out the door for work.

7:15 am. We head downstairs in our pjs (still rocking the red-striped Christmas Hanna Anderssons) and say good morning to Duncan who's back from his morning walk with his dad. It takes Finn about ten minutes to pull out all the toys that I picked up last night, and to get the living room back to its normal disheveled self.

8:15 am. We're still playing. Finn has lots of energy and is crawling all over the place.

8:30 am. Time for breakfast. Finn has his usual banana and a little bit of yogurt. Cereal and a green tea latte for me. Oh, and I decide to start taking pictures :)

8:55 am. We're done with breakfast and back to the living room.

I wasn't kidding about the level of chaos.

9:15 am. Like clockwork, I am changing a dirty diaper. Although, I should say that this is a very sneaky clock, because if dad is the only one home in the morning, it doesn't poop. Finn's so squirmy that I've pulled out the big gun and given him his favorite toy as a bribe to get him to hold still.

9:16 am. I take my phone back and Finn flips in an instant. By the way, clashing patterns aside, this is my favorite diaper (BumGenius 4.0 Artist Series).

9:20 am. It's getting close to nap time, but we play for a few more minutes until the tell-tale eye rubbing starts. Finn loves to pull up and hang out on the coffee table.

9:35 am. We head upstairs. I've been putting Finn back in his sleep sack for naps for a week or so now since it's been so cold here. Sometimes it helps him to take a longer nap and sometimes it doesn't. I nurse Finn.

9:45 am. Out.

I get dressed, pick up the living room a little bit, and sit down to do a report I need to get done for work. I finally finish the green tea latte I made for breakfast.

11:15 am. A happy well-rested boy is awake and babbling in his crib.

I head upstairs and quietly sneak into Finn's room. I love love love going to get him when he wakes up happy. He gives me the biggest grin when he notices me. He's still a little sleepy and nurses for a bit.

11:25 am. Diaper change. Looking good Finn.

11:30 am. I've wrestled Finn through getting dressed. He's far too busy these days for details like clothes.

We bundle up to walk Duncan.

Duncan's already mad that he has to wait for me to get Finn's hat and coat on and get him in the carrier... but now we're taking pictures? Grumpy schnauzer.

11:35 am. And we're walking.

We stop in to the pet store where Duncan gets about twelve treats for doing about three half-hearted tricks. The pet store is like this alternate universe where everyone oohs and ahhs over Duncan and ignores Finn. Also known as: heaven for Duncan.

12 pm. We drop Duncan off and pick up a package of pajamas that I need to mail to one of Finn's friends in Tennessee.

12:10 pm. We're at the post office. It's freezing but a gorgeous day.

12:25 pm. We're back home and it's time for lunch. Finn's pretty excited about it.

Lunch is chicken,

fresh peach,

and Finn's favorite: pumpernickel bread with cream cheese.

To be continued with a surprise lunch guest...

What 9 months looks like

2012-01-12T10:29:00.000-05:00

Cruising, babbling, giggling. Love this boy.

Christmas 2011

2012-01-11T15:09:00.000-05:00

This year was of course the first year that Santa Claus visited our house. I think he did quite a good job despite his rookie status.

(Not a creature was stirring, not even a schnauzer.)

We started the tradition of having Finn wait at the top of the stairs on Christmas morning before coming down to see his presents. (Too bad this picture is really cute of him because I could really do without it of me.)

Santa brought Finn a personalized chair, a set of plush tools, an old-fashioned tin ABC toy, and a wooden pull toy. There was a bit of debate, as apparently Santa wrapped presents in my husband's house growing up (the horror!). You can see whose Santa won ;)

The drill has a pull cord that makes it "work". Finn's mom may or may not find this cooler than he does.

Best toy ever = the remote control.

We had some gifts at our house with my dad, step-mom, and sister before breakfast. Then we headed over to my in-laws for round 2. (Sporting my new boots which hubs picked out all by himself!)

Finn made out like a bandit there as well. I think we're all set for clothes and toys for him for a good long while... I actually took about half of the toys and put them away in an attempt to not overwhelm him all at once and spread out the fun a bit. We called it a day pretty early on Christmas as we were leaving bright and early the next morning for a much sunnier location :)

Catchup: Eight Months

2012-01-10T22:49:00.001-05:00

November 23:

Dear Finn,

I think the fact that this letter is over a month late speaks to how busy you've been keeping us lately! You are constantly on the move now, and the scootch-crawl move that served you so well over the past couple of months was replaced with a real on-your-knees crawl just a couple of days after you turned seven months old. That same week you started pulling yourself up to stand! Now every surface imaginable- the couch, crib, ottoman- even the dog- has become fair game in your quest to be vertical at all times.

You're cruising along furniture, but so far you haven't shown any interest in taking steps unassisted, and we're happy to keep it that way. Slow down, little man! Your crib mattress has officially been moved to the lowest setting. Your dad learned how to climb out of his before he was a year old. Here's hoping that you didn't inherit that ability.

Finger foods are where it's at in the eating department. You want to feed everything to yourself, and so we've pretty much given up on all purees. You're eating pasta, carrots, broccoli (although you're not a huge fan), peas, avocado, and cucumber (a big favorite). Green beans are a no go. You're mastering your pincer grip and it's amazing how you're already getting much faster and more accurate with your eating (Duncan is upset about this for sure). You light up when we get out a canister of puffs, and you'd eat your weight in them if we'd let you.

You've started giving zerberts this month, and now our cheeks, arms, legs, (and even the furniture) are subject to your slimy kisses! Tooth #5 made it's appearance (on the bottom, second left), and you like to try out your new teeth on our shoulders when we hold you- ouch! Speaking of ouch, you managed to bite down on your lip hard enough to draw a bit of blood after taking a spill in your crib this month. It was a pretty minor injury- you didn't even cry- but it scared me as your mom so much! I'm sure there will be skinned knees, more bumps, and some bruises in your future, and this seemed like a glimpse into what life will be like with an active little boy.

Once again we can say that this was the most fun month yet with you. I had a great time taking you for your first visit to the Little Gym, where you loved crawling around and checking everything out even though you were the youngest kiddo there. You love watching your dad play guitar and are always trying to get a hold of those strings for yourself. You love your blocks, your little yellow hammer toy, and your books. Even better than any toy though, are the containers we store them in (the toy buckets in your room make especially good drums) or best of all, the laundry basket.

Eight Month Stats: Around 19-20 pounds. No doctor's visit this month for official measurements.
Size: Some 9 month and some 12.
Nicknames: Finno, Finny, Finny Boo Boo
Must-haves: Beco Gemini Carrier, Plum Organics Super Puffs

Milestones:

October 25: Pulled up to stand
October 28: First real crawl on your knees
November 2: Tooth #5
November 9: First zerberts!
November 10: Trying to strum dad's guitar
November 21: Green beans are the first thing you really refuse to eat

Some of our favorite times with you are during your bedtime routine. You love your bath, and we love snuggling you in your little footie pjs. I love holding you and rocking you while your dad reads you a bedtime story. No matter how crazy our day was, nursing you in your room as you fall asleep is always such a wonderful time. It's during those moments that I get a chance to stop and remind myself how very very blessed I am to be your mom. It really is the best job in the whole world.

Love you so much I can't stand it,
Momma

Whoops

2012-01-10T14:20:00.000-05:00

The last time I took such a long blog hiatus was July 2010 and it was because I was sitting on a big secret and a whole lot of morning sickness. I can claim only laziness this time around (for clarity:NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT).

We had a fabulous Christmas and topped it off with a week-long cruise the day after. We returned to reality for just a couple of days before Finn and I visited Maine for the weekend to see his great-Nana and to meet the sweet new babe of my BFF Kate. I've started a new job which means fewer late nights, a shorter commute, and more hours to spend with my little man (who is fast approaching 9.5 months despite the absence of an eight month update on this here neglected blog).

My 2012 blog resolution is to return to blogging for myself. I've been hesitating to post things because I think they might not be that interesting, or because I don't have time to sit down and write a lot, or because my stories aren't always fascinating. But I want to get back to writing what goes on even if it's not super news-worthy so that we have a record of it all. More me, less you? Quantity over quality? Maybe :) I also have a lot of half-written stuff to finish up and get posted. My second resolution is to comment more on other blogs... I read so many each and every day and don't take the time I should to at least thank the authors for the entertainment. I hope some of you will stick around even if posts become a bit more mundane.

Cheers (only 10 little days late) to a wonderful 2012!

Merry Christmas!!

2011-12-23T12:11:00.001-05:00

Wishing you and yours the most joyous Christmas yet!
With love,
Em, Liam, Finn, and Duncan O'

{ Merry Christmas 2010 and 2009 }

It's Monday?

2011-12-19T17:01:00.000-05:00

Here's what's been I've been up to in the past two weeks:

1. Forgetting that I have a blog. I didn't post a weekly Finn picture last week for the first time in 38 weeks. I did take one, however, and it's Christmas themed. Stay tuned.

2. Realizing that Christmas is quickly approaching and perhaps I should buy some gifts? Thank God for Amazon Prime. As of last night, this, this, this, and this are en route to my house. Duncan the mailman-hating schnauzer is going to have fun this week.

3. Baking FOURTEEN dozen cookies in preparation for the two cookie exchange parties I attended yesterday. Nothing like a deadline and an unrealistic goal to suck the fun right out of baking. In less dire times, it might have actually been fun, because these turned out quite delicious: Cookies 'n' Cream Cookies.

4. Sleeping. And thanking God for the invention of the sleep sack and readers who tell me the right one to buy. Since the very first night with the Dee Dee Sleep Sack we have been enjoying ten, eleven, TWELVE hours of baby sleep at a time. It's all going out the window tonight of course since I just told you about it, but this is too good not to share.

5. Seeing my prenatal yoga buddies for the first time since we all popped out our kiddos. We all got together last night and had some much needed cocktails and time away from our kids where we OF COURSE talked nonstop about our kids. It was great. Also it was fun to tell each other over and over just how skinny we looked. Funny how that happens when you're no longer carrying around a child.

6. Trying to distract you all from this scrambled and random attempt at a blog post with some cute baby pictures.

Take, er, Week 37

2011-12-08T15:28:00.000-05:00

The higher the week, the longer it takes to get a photo for Finn's weekly pic. I think I picked the blocks up off the floor roughly 23 times this week.

And the winner is...

Dear Santa: Baby Wish List

2011-12-06T11:37:00.001-05:00

I think I was the only one who admitted to planning on buying a Christmas gift for my baby this year in one of the mom groups I'm in. No one has every accused me of being practical. So yes, Finn will be getting a couple of small things from Santa this year, and at nine months old, here's what's on his list.

B. Parum Pum Pum Drum Finn loves to bang his toys together or on the floor, and the ones that make a fun noise when he does that are definitely favorites. Also, he always tries to grab his dad's guitar, and like typical first-time parents, we've taken that to mean that he is destined to be a musical genius. (Can you say the name of this toy without the Drummer Boy song getting stuck in your head? Me neither. Now that we've got a nice holiday soundtrack going, let's move on.)

Fisher-Price Little Superstar Sing-Along Stage Again, just trying to nurture his obvious talent. That and my kid loves to look at himself in the mirror. I'm just hoping this is sturdy enough for him to pull himself up on... because really that is his number one favorite activity these days. {Edited to add: Lynn says this isn't strong enough to pull up on... so it's out! Thanks Lynn :) }

Fisher-Price Go Baby Go! Poppity Pop Musical Dino Did you know that it's illegal to be a baby in 2011 and not have a ball popper toy? Well it is. I picked this one because it reminds me of that Hungry Hippo game. I've been warned that I will now spend my life chasing after these little balls, but apparently the fun factor of this toy is worth it.

KEEN Coronado Canvas Lace-Up WIth Velcro Keen shoes for a baby. Be still my heart. Finn's dad has a pair just like these (sans velcro for the 30-year old).

Olive, the Other Reindeer Not just the punchline to my favorite Christmas joke. This is an adorable story and you can never have too many Christmas books.

Llama Llama Holiday Drama Nope, never too many.

Personalized Land of Nod Chair Santa had a leftover gift card to the Land of Nod due to a shipping mix-up way back when Finn's nursery was decorated. This will be appearing underneath the tree this year as the big unwrapped Santa gift.

The Baby-Led Weaning Cookbook Finn is such a considerate baby, he put this on his list just for me. We are loving baby-led weaning and looking for some new ideas.

Diaper-Free Before 3 Another not-really-for-the-baby item. Just starting to research this. My friend Nina did an awesome job with her daughter and I'd love to start this process as early as possible. Plus I think I earn a lot of extra hippie-mama points just for having the words "elimination communication" on my blog. Win!

Baby Spring Float Sun Canopy Back to the baby stuff. We're taking a warm-weather vacation this winter and I think this could come in handy. It says "colors may vary" which is code for "we're sending you a pink one". It's okay, Finn can rock it.

Earlyears Baby Farm Friends Bowling Animals. A ball. Throwing. What is not to love.

Merino Kids Baby Sleep Bag I'm not totally sold on this one. To me it seems a bit expensive, but it has awesome reviews. I think Finn is waking up sometimes now because he's cold, and I'd like to get a sleep sack that will last us awhile. If you have a better suggestion I'd love to hear it! {Edited to add: DeeDee recommends this one instead, and it looks great so Santa added it to his ~~cart~~ sleigh. Thanks DeeDee!}

Okay, your turn. If you were nine months old, what would you be asking Santa for? And don't say no more naps; Santa's tired.

Santa!? I know him!

2011-12-02T20:53:00.001-05:00

Stay tuned for Finn's Christmas list. What are you asking Santa for this year?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T12:51:00.000-05:00

Feeling overwhelmed with thanks for this boy...

...who is thankful for purple sweet potatoes...

...nakey time...

...and his dad (so very thankful for him too).

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday Brain Dump

2011-11-22T21:48:00.000-05:00

Whoa. How is it the end of November? Did that sneak up on anyone else? Finn turns EIGHT months old tomorrow, Thanksgiving is the next day, and I haven't even tracked down the all-Christmas-music-all-the-time radio station in my car yet. Usually I'm all over that the day after Halloween. I have about ten actual real blog posts that I could/should be writing, but my brain can't handle it right now, so you're getting the cop-out list of random thoughts running through my brain.

1. Have you hit up Starbucks for your favorite holiday drink yet (I did notice the red cups the day after Halloween... that should have been my hint to find that radio station)? Mine is the egg nog latte, but I get it with chai tea instead of coffee and it is heaven. We had this conversation on twitter the other day though, about how it's important to tell your barista that you don't want your four dollar drink diluted down with half a cup of water. Apparently this is standard procedure in some Starbucks. Anyways, you should try this, and if you want your barista to ask you if you used to work for Starbucks like mine did, the proper order is grande no water egg nog chai latte. YUM.

2. I am currently obsessed with sending greeting cards from Tiny Prints. Did you know that you can send just one personalized (with photos, etc) birthday/holiday/thank you/whatever card? You create it and then they send it straight to your recipient. For some reason I find it prohibitively difficult to go to the store, buy a card, fill out the card, find the address, look for a stamp, buy another whole book of stamps because I can't remember where I put the last book I bought, and then mail the card. Tiny Prints cards are normally $3.99 each, but I signed up for an annual membership for $5.99 which included 3 free cards and then made each card I send only $2.99. That is less than Hallmark, cuter, and I can do it all without ~~showering and getting dressed~~ leaving my computer. Win. Finn just sent out Thanksgiving cards to his grandparents, and he'd like to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving too:

3. That list of posts I could be writing? There's one in there about sleep that I've had as a draft since maybe August. I'm hesitant to keep writing it because I don't know how helpful it will be to anyone. This baby sleep thing changes SO often. Just as I'm figuring out something that works, the whole game is different. Also on the should-I-bother list is a post about what I'm feeding Finn. I'm making his food, but it's so simple that I don't know if it's even worth writing about. Cook food. Put in blender. Feed to baby. Do you care? You tell me. (Then again I googled how to make avocado baby food before I first fed one to Finn. Turns out it is as easy as you think it is.)

4. Here is what I would like to be bringing to Thanksgiving dinner this year:

It's totally not going to happen. In my former life I had time to do ridiculous stuff like that though.

5. Believe it or not, since having a baby I have gotten way more organized about cooking dinner. I do this magical thing called "meal planning" which is really just code for showing up at the grocery store with half a clue about what you're going to be buying. I have a list now, and I'm all business in there when I have Finn with me, so there is no more aimlessly walking up and down the aisles for an hour and coming home with only milk, refrigerated Christmas cookie dough, and a box of Indian food (but somehow spending $134 anyways). It's amazing how we are actually saving money AND eating better since I've started doing this.

5a. Notice how I didn't say I was cooking though? Here is our division of labor: I dream up an amazing dinner (aka search on Pinterest for something that looks good), make a list, and buy the ingredients. Hubs cooks (and wins husband of the year award).

6. I've been trying to come up with a Christmas wish list, but everything I'm pining for is a totally lame mom-gift that's not even really for me. Exhibit A, I'm really trying to resist putting a baby carrier stuff sack on my list. Not that that isn't a genius invention, but how lamesauce am I and how did I get here? Is there anything awesome on your Christmas list this year? Can you let me know what it is? Maybe I want it too and also I can pretend that I have non-Mom interests.

6b. We have the Beco Gemini carrier now that Finn is too heavy for the Bjorn (not technically but too heavy for my shoulders with the Bjorn) and we LOVE it. (My excitement over yet another baby product could also be Exhibit B of how I'm pretty lamesauce these days.)

7. I feel the need to end this list on a non-Mom related note. I have a long overdue hair appointment scheduled for Saturday and I can't decide if I want to get back to my old bright blonde self or embrace my inner brunette (although there is no way I'll be going as dark as I did during the brunette experiment of 2009). Opinions?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Don't forget to wear your stretchy pants!
XO

So Damn Lucky

2011-11-11T16:50:00.000-05:00

Today is 11/11/11, which means it's been exactly 11 years since I met the man who would become my husband.

An auspicious start if there ever was one.

Wishing a lucky 11/11/11 to you all!

Cloth Diaper Update & Potty Pail Review

2011-11-09T11:47:00.000-05:00

Warning: poop talk ahead. You know you love it.

It's time for a cloth diaper update. It's been five months since I confessed my love for cloth diapers and took lots of pictures of my washing machine. A few things have changed since then and so I thought it only fair to update you all.

So first off, yes, we are still loving cloth. Our favorite diapers are the bumGenius 4.0 with snaps and although Finn will rock the occasional Charlie Banana, we always reach for the BGs first. I'm no longer putting the covers in the dryer though. I think it was really starting to wear them out, and they come out of the washing machine not feeling very wet to begin with anyways. I get asked a lot why we didn't go with the all-in-one diapers as opposed to the pocket diapers and the ability to separate out the covers and line dry them is a big plus in my book. If it's sunny they go outside, and if it's not they hang up indoors on this awesome little Ikea hanger. The inserts and the wipes still go in the dryer.

I've perfected my cloth wipe spray solution since I last posted. It's one splash California Baby Diaper Area Wash, two splashes Witch Hazel, and the rest purified water (the kind you can buy at the drug store). I love the smell of the California Baby stuff, but it's too expensive to use by itself. The Witch Hazel keeps it from going bad (I make one spray bottle worth at a time, which lasts us probably a week and a half). I keep everything in Finn's closet along with a cup and a funnel so it's easy to make a new batch whenever I need it.

I will not lie to you all and tell you that we haven't had any problems at all with cloth. A few months back we started having some STINKY diapers. They would smell perfectly clean when I put them on Finn, but as soon as he peed they would reek of ammonia. A little bit of googling told me that I was not alone with the microfiber stink problem. Our solution has been a simple one though. I now put a quarter cup of bleach in with the detergent every other time I wash them. The BumGenius website actually recommends this (although they suggest once per month).

The second problem we've encountered is overnight leaks. I've dabbled in extra inserts (another reason to love pocket diapers), a wool cover, and even disposables, but nothing seems to be foolproof. I now add a Thirsties Hemp Insert to Finn's overnight diaper, and that seems to be the best solution for us so far. The hemp insert goes underneath the microfiber insert. It makes for a big booty double-stuffed diaper, and it helps all of us sleep better at night...most nights.

Okay, okay, the reason you're all reading this post is because you want to hear about the poop. Turns out that when you feed a baby actual solid food, things change in the poop department. I was dreading this. Up until this point, all dirty diapers went straight in the wash without so much as a rinse. Breastfed babies' poop dissolves in water, and we never had a problem. But solid food changes things. I had heard good things about diaper sprayers so I started doing a little research and came across a product called The Potty Pail. I couldn't believe that in all my cloth diaper research I hadn't come across it sooner, because it's pretty flipping genius. {Full disclosure: When I ordered my Potty Pail I asked if I could get a discount for reviewing the system, and they agreed. I promise I would have still written this same exact post had I paid full price.} Now a sprayer isn't necessary for every single poopy diaper... sometimes all that's required is turning the diaper upside-down over the toilet. I'm hoping you can imagine what I mean without more poopy detail here.

Here's the deal: to use a typical diaper sprayer, you hold the dirty diaper over the toilet and use a (fairly high pressured) sprayer to clean off the poop. I had a hard time picturing how that was going to work without a) having to touch toilet water, b) having to drip dirty water across the floor back to the diaper pail, and c) being splashed with poop. Now as a mom I don't mind dealing with poop, but being splashed with poopy toilet water is really where I draw the line.

Here is where The Potty Pail comes in as an accessory to the diaper sprayer. It was designed by a husband and wife who were cloth diapering their babies and frustrated with the "swish the diaper in the toilet" method. It's basically a bucket attached to a little platform that allows it to sit on your toilet. It's angled to drain into a hole in the bucket, has hooks to hang wet diapers, and a rest for the sprayer itself. So now, all the water from the sprayer and all the poop stay contained inside this magical bucket which drains right into your toilet. No splashing and no touching the toilet: the gross-factor drops WAY down.

Hubs describes the diaper sprayer installation process as "ridiculously easy". I didn't pay much attention, but he had it finished in about five minutes.

He says all you need is a wrench.

The system comes with a little hook for the sprayer which we attached to the side of our toilet tank.

The sprayer itself has a little valve that you can use to adjust the pressure, but I pretty much like to have it turned up all the way all the time for maximum poop-removal strength. This is where there would definitely be a problem if I was spraying directly into the toilet. I'm picturing one of those infomercials for the self-straining pasta lid where someone is fumbling around with a hot pot of spaghetti and spilling it on themselves, only in this scenario it's me getting splashed with baby poop and it's not awesome. Thank you Potty Pail for shielding me from the gross. I owe you one.

The pail has two hooks where you can leave a dripping diaper to dry, and there is a lid for the pail which I use as a tray to carry the diaper back to the diaper pail (the less touching of the diaper I have to do the better). It even comes with a tray that you can set the whole pail in so that you don't drip onto your bathroom floor. There is also a chain and stopper that you can use to plug the bottom of the pail if you want to soak your diapers. I have a couple of clothespins attached to the side of it too for wipes and inserts that need to be sprayed... and the occasional poop covered article of baby clothing.

Negatives? Well it's one more thing to buy. You could probably make something like it yourself, but I don't think it's that expensive that it would be worth your time to try. Also, it does take up a bit of space your bathroom. Ours lives next to the toilet in its drip tray, but you could keep it inside your tub or shower if you didn't have enough floor space. (And it stays plenty clean with just a quick spray down so I wouldn't be grossed out about that.)

So overall, the game has changed a little, but it is SO not a big deal. Even hubs and our babysitter have used the sprayer and both thought it was totally fine. I really can't imagine continuing to cloth diaper now without at least a sprayer. So I'm sorry if I sound like the infomercial I just made fun of, but it is SO USEFUL. Solid poop is way less scary than I had worried it would be. And bonus, the poop is gone down the toilet where it belongs, not hanging out in my baby's room in a pail. Cloth or disposable, I think we can all agree that's a nice thing.

And this concludes your poop talk for the day. Carry on :)

Seven Months

2011-11-07T10:17:00.003-05:00

October 23:

Dear Finn,
What a fun month this has been for you! You are officially on the move, and can scoot yourself just about anywhere you'd like to go- and fast! No longer can we set you on the bed while we brush our teeth or on the living room rug while we grab something in the kitchen. It's made life a little trickier but more fun for sure.

Turning six months meant that you got to try solid food for the very first time! You have tried avocado, sweet potatoes, apples, pears, butternut squash, bananas, peas, carrots, rice cereal and oatmeal this month and you loved it all. At first you would only have a few bites, but towards the end of the month you must have hit a growth spurt because you just couldn't get enough. You complained loudly if we weren't getting spoonfuls into your mouth fast enough! You're also having a good time learning how to feed yourself. Grabbing the spoon isn't all that successful for you, but you've gotten the hang of feeding yourself pieces of banana, cooked apples or Mum Mum crackers with your fingers.

Towards the end of the month we gave you some puffs for the first time so that you could practice your pincer grip. It's tricky but I'd say about half of the puffs do make their way to your mouth. The other half make their way to Duncan's mouth which is probably even more fun for you. You're drinking from a straw cup now, and throwing that item on the floor is lots of fun as well!

Unfortunately, feeding puffs (and the occasional squished banana piece) to your brother Duncan hasn't won him over as a Finn fan quite yet. He's just not quite sure what to make of you as you crawl around- often towards him. We're working on helping him warm up to you but at the moment he's pretty scared. You're being very patient despite the fact that you'd really like to be loving on him at all times.

Another first for you this month was your first cold. The worst part about it for you was having your nose wiped, or worse, emptied by the snotsucker. Maybe you like those boogers where they are, because you scream whenever a boogie wipe comes near, and that snotsucker is truly the worst thing that has ever happened to you. You are much happier though when it's over and your nose has been un-stuffed, so we're going to keep it up.

Sitting up by yourself was a skill mastered by you this month, and we had to lower your crib to the middle setting after you started sitting up in bed and grabbing the rails. You can get yourself from laying down to sitting up and back again... and we watch you do it many times in your crib while you're supposed to be napping! A couple of times we've even watched you fall asleep sitting up. Your naps are going much better this month, and we can now almost always count on about an hour in the morning and another in the late afternoon, and once in awhile you surprise us with two hours.

You absolutely love looking at yourself in the mirror that sits in front of your car seat, and so loading you into the car now always elicits a big grin... followed reliably about fifteen minutes later by a nap. You're grabbing and slapping everything in sight, including your mom's hair and earrings, your dad's hats, and Duncan's fur. You crack up when we zerbert your belly or blow your hair around (you're growing a little bit more of it finally). Keeping you on your changing table and wrangling you into your clothing have become Olympic sports, in which your dad and I medal only occasionally, doing much better when we get to compete as a team :)

Seven Month Stats: 19 lbs, 8 oz (which was the weight of your Mom at one year according to her well-kept baby book), and 28 or 29" long.
Size: Lots of 6-12, and 9 month sizes. Your new fleece pajamas are size 12 months and are only a little bit too big. When you wear disposable diapers, you're in a size 3. We still have you on the medium adjustment of your BumGenius diapers.
Nicknames: Finno, Mr. Finn, Finny, and your dad calls you Dude
Must-haves: Nosefrida Snotsucker, Fisher-Price Baby's First Blocks, BABYBJÖRN Bib
Milestones:
September 30: First cold
October 4: We had to lower your crib
October 9: We ordered a back up to your favorite lovey, Mr. Bear. You can tell them apart though, and you don't love Imposter Bear nearly as much.
October 11: You can go from laying down to sitting up and back again.
October 13: You are practically running in circles in your Doodlebugs play table.
October 15: You drank from a straw.
October 17: You discover the joy of throwing food to Duncan from your high chair.

The more we get to know you, the more we love you, you active little guy, you. We love playing with you, reading to you, feeding you, and learning more and more about how to be your parents. Once again this was the best month yet, and we can't wait to top it next month.

Love you so much I can't stand it,
Momma

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T10:11:00.021-04:00

Shutterfly Christmas Cards

2011-10-28T12:52:00.003-04:00

I know, I know, these posts are popping up on every blog you read right now. We really loved our Christmas cards from Shutterfly last year though, so I'm working with them again this year. Here's the 2010 version... oh how things have changed:

I should tell you about last year's experience with our Christmas photo cards from Shutterfly first... I was thrilled with the quality of the cards I received, BUT somehow in the production process, the right side of the card got cut off a little more than what was shown in the preview I saw when I made the cards. Do you see the top picture of preggo me and the tree? The little openings behind my lower back and behind my legs were cropped off on the cards I received. No big deal, right? Well, I think it had the effect of adding about ten extra pounds to my already expanding figure, and I was not happy about it. I emailed Shutterfly, and all it took was me sending them a photo of the cards I received, and a new set of cards was overnighted to me! I was really impressed with their attention to detail, even though it was a detail that would have probably only been noticed by a crazy preggo. Thanks, Shutterfly :)

I have a feeling this year's card is going to show a whole lot more baby and a whole lot less parents and dog. C'est la vie. Here are some of the designs I'm loving... not that I'm organized enough to have chosen a picture yet. We'll try to take one that has everyone looking at the camera and smiling, but if we wanted to get a little more real, one of the following would probably represent our first year as a family of three a little bit better.

First up, Sparkle Joy:

Next, we have Merry Bright:

Or we could just go for a simple Ho, Ho, Ho.

Or maybe What Fun?

Which one would you choose?

*Three random commenters on this post will each win 25 free holiday cards from Shutterfly! Winners have been emailed!
(Edited to add: You MUST have your email attached to your blogger account in order to win.)

*Are you a blogger? Want a chance at 25 free cards this holiday season? Register here: http://goo.gl/DDw7Q

Unrequited Love

2011-10-25T11:44:00.002-04:00

Oooooh! It's my dog!!! Duncan! Duncan! Let's play!

What? Where did he go? Duncan?! (please note streak of escaping dog butt in foreground)

Duncan I love you, don't you love me?

No? (face crumple)

Why won't you play with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!?????

All Finn wants is to ~~grab a mouthful of Duncan's beard~~ play with Duncan.

Not having it.

Survey Says

2011-10-19T15:31:00.001-04:00

You guys. Thank you so much for taking the time to fill out my silly little survey! It was awesome to hear from so many of you. But... hello, TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT of you responded. Where have you guys been?! It would be so fun to hear from you more often. A few of you mentioned that you'd never commented before because you feel weird or funny about leaving comments. You must not know that comments are like crack to bloggers. So speak up more often... it will make my day :)

Enough about me... who are you? Well, you're all between 20 and 36 years old except for one of you in your "mid-50s" and one who left a cryptic "older than walkmans, younger than dirt" riddle. Your ages form a perfect bell curve centered at 29. I broke out ma fancy math skills and so I can tell you that the average reader here is 28.7, the median age is 28 and the mode is 29. (Nerd alert.)

You hail from all over the country, and more of you call California home than any other state. Texas is popular too, but this isn't exactly groundbreaking seeing that those are some big ol' states. Tied with Texas is my adopted home state of Maryland, including a couple of you who live in the town where I work... is it creepy or cool to think we probably pass each other on the highway regularly? Also represented: Canada, New Zealand, Australia (I spent six months in your gorgeous country in college!), Mexico, Germany, UK, Singapore, and Costa Rica (jealous).

Only 31% of you have kids, but 16% of you are pregnant, and 27% of you hope to add kids to your families "soon". That leaves 26% of you without kids or intentions of them in the near future... thanks for sticking around despite the all-baby-all-the-time vibe going on around here lately.

I'm a part of the 28% of you that read blogs on your phone, and I'll admit also to being a part of the 35% that read from work. A majority of you, 68%, read this blog (and I'm assuming many, many others if you're anything like me) through Google Reader. Have you guys discovered the "next" feature? You'll find it under settings, in "goodies", and it's awesome. An easy way to click through your reader while seeing the actual blog you're reading instead of a feed.

Almost half of you left me a comment, and they were all so ridiculously sweet I can't even believe it. You called me lovely, nifty, fabulous, swell, and kind of awesome. I'd call all of you the same. Blogging is a freaking self-esteem booster, I'll tell you what.

And now, if I may, I'd like to call some of you out :)

One of you described reading my breastfeeding post while you were in the hospital, and said that it helped you be successful in your goal to breastfeed your second baby even though it didn't work out with your first baby. That gave me chills. When I sit here blogging in my sweatpants I don't feel like I'm doing anything productive or important, and I realize that most of the time I really am not, but the thought that I made a difference for you in that way makes me so so happy.

I thought about adding a question to the survey along the lines of "do you know me in in real life and read my blog without me knowing?" but I was worried I'd be too weirded out if there were a lot of you. But one of you said you were in my sorority three years behind me, and I don't know who you are! To you I say, "w", and delurk, please :)

I'd like to say "I'm so glad you love it" to the one of you who bought your breast pump based on my recommendation, "exactly, and wasn't it awesome?" to the fellow natural birther who commented about your thoughts on relaxing during labor, and "don't worry, that would make for the most boring blog ever" to the person who asked me to please not start posting an outfit of the day.

I'm glad that so many of you like product suggestion or review-type posts (a lot of you requested more of them), because I really like writing them. I'll keep abusing my Amazon Prime membership just for you guys. And for those of you into cloth diapers (there are a lot of you!) I have a diaper sprayer system review post to write soon... get excited ;)

Thank you to the many of you who left your blog addresses. Many are new to me and I'll be checking them out. Fellow bloggers, I highly recommend heading over to polldaddy.com and setting up a little survey for your blog. Good stuff :)

{Can't post without a picture.... Finn can maneuver his way from crawling to sitting up now, and he's pretty darn proud about it.}

Catchup: Six Months

2011-10-17T12:07:00.008-04:00

September 23:

Dear Finn,
You seem so very grown up to us this month! We've had so much fun, and the time is just flying by. It's crazy to think that you've been a part of our family for six months now. Sometimes it seems like it's been years since we brought a teeny tiny newborn home, and sometimes it seems like yesterday. We loved you from that very first moment, but you were a stranger to us in a way. Now we know you inside and out, and we love who you are becoming.

This month kicked off with you experiencing your very first earthquake, and four days later you got to see your first hurricane. Thankfully it passed by us pretty uneventfully, and thanks to your grandparents' generator, we didn't lose a single ounce of frozen breastmilk (your mom was a bit worked up over the thought of that). You spent the time indoors perfecting your scooch (you are getting much faster!) and learning how to sit up on your own. You still topple over every now and then, but your balance improves every day.

While we waited until the very end of this month to start you on solid foods, technically you started yourself on them a bit earlier when you stole a handful of mashed potatoes off of your grandfather's plate! You had them in your mouth before we could stop you, and your reaction was priceless. A bit shocked that a flavor besides breast milk exists in the world, perhaps? Yes, we've been holding out on you a bit, but we are so excited to introduce you to a whole new world of tastes very soon!

You gained two new teeth this month, a pair on top to match the ones on the bottom. Once again you didn't mind the teething process all that much, and we could only tell they were bothering you on a select few fussy evenings. I think your amber teething necklace definitely helped. You think it's quite fun to click and grind your teeth together now though, a noise that we could really all do without!

One of your new most favorite things in the world is watching us sing you the ABCs. You stare and stare at our mouths as we form each letter, as if you're trying to figure out how each different sound is made. It's one of the only things that will calm you down when you're fussing on the changing table... you stop and look up wide-eyed, and the slower we sing it the better. A drawn out "esssssss" or "exxxxx" gets you giggling like crazy (and can be thanked for most of the mid-laugh pictures this month). Your dad likes to throw in Amazing Grace or America the Beautiful just to mix it up sometimes, but your mom is going to keep it simple with those ABCs just as long as you are interested.

We took you on your first road trip this month, to upstate New York for a wedding. You did great in the car and staying overnight in your pack'n'play. You got to meet lots of your relatives, play with your cousins, and even hang out on the dance floor (you actually fell asleep in your Aunt Robbin's arms while she was dancing with you!). You were quite a charmer that weekend, little man.

As far as sleeping goes, your overnight sleep continues to be really great. You're definitely transitioning this month from three naps down to two though, and it's a slow and tricky process. When you just take two naps your bedtime is closer to 7pm, a big change from the 9:30-10pm bedtime we're used to. You'll usually sleep in your crib until around 4 or 5 am, when you wake up and come in to bed with us to nurse and fall back asleep for a few hours. It's nice to wake up to your smiling face, but you have become such a wiggle worm that I'm not sure how much longer we'll be able to have this be our routine! I used to wake up to your warm little body snuggled up to me, but now it's more likely to be a flailing arm or leg that interrupts my sleep.

Six Month Stats: you're right around 18 lbs, and I'm not sure how tall, but you are outgrowing everything in length this month!

Size: Lots of 6-12, some 9 month sizes. When you wear disposable diapers (like on our weekend trip), you're in a size 3. We still have you on the medium adjustment of your BumGenius diapers.
Nicknames: Finno, Mr. Finn, Bubboo
Must-haves: Bright Starts Around We Go Doodle Bugs Activity Station, Bumbo Baby Seat
Milestones:
August 27: Hurricane Irene, your first
August 28: Sitting up by yourself
August 29: You helped yourself to some mashed potatoes
September 4: You're rolling across the floor now, back to front to back
September 6: Tooth #3, your top left pokes through
September 7: You're up on your knees rocking back and forth
September 9: Tooth #4, your top right pokes through
September 10: you attend a wedding in NY, your third!'
September 17: we cheat by a few days and you try your first real food- avocado!
September 19: you skip your third nap for the first time

We can't wait to see what the next month will bring. Getting to know you is one of the greatest joys we've ever had.

Love you so much I can't stand it,
Momma

Reader Survey

2011-10-13T23:07:00.002-04:00

I'd love to know just a wee bit more about who's showing up to read this blog. If you have a minute, would you please fill out this quick survey?

Survey expired.

(If you're reading from google reader, please click over to see the embedded survey....thanks!)

Who needs toys

2011-10-05T22:58:00.001-04:00

When you can play with a tiny patch of sunlight?

My child is part cat.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Stuff we love... six months edition

2011-10-03T08:15:00.002-04:00

Before our lives were flipped upside down by the arrival of our little man, I wrote a post on baby registry recommendations, and I promised to come back and write about how it's all worked out for us. I just scrolled through that post again, and apparently I did a really good job stealing ideas from all the mommas who went before me, because almost every item on that list has been awesome. Rather than go through them all, I thought I'd just point out the best, the stuff that didn't work for us, and the ~~few~~ many items we've acquired since Finn's arrival that have been lifesavers.

Best:

Bumbleride Indie Stroller. Obsessed. I'm sorry if you've asked for a stroller recommendation in my general vicinity and have been subject to a book-length/hour-long outpouring of praise for this, but I just love it that much. We also have a more lightweight stroller but we don't use it because this one works so well. (We have the 2010 model, and the 2011 comes in some sweet new colors but unfortunately doesn't come standard with the rain cover anymore.)

BabySmart Cooshee Changer. I can't imagine washing a changing pad cover every time it got something on it. Maybe I just have particularly bad diaper changing timing, but something gets on this quite a lot, and it's really easy to wipe down. I can't imagine not having this.

bumGenius One-Size Cloth Diaper 4.0. Runner-up honors go to Charlie Banana and Fuzzibunz, but our ~~butts~~ hearts belong to BumGenius.

Target Gilligan & O'Malley Nursing Tanks. I think I now own eight, and wear them all the time. Someday I will be excited to just wear normal undergarments again, but for now they make my life a lot easier.

BABYBJÖRN Baby Carrier. This wins huge points for being Dad friendly (he picks this as #1 most-needed item). I dabbled in the Moby Wrap as well, but it was just too hot this summer to have Finn all swaddled up in it. (We will give it another go this winter.) The Bjorn carrier is key for grocery shopping, walks, and general it-would-be-nice-to-have-two-hands-right-now situations.

Fisher-Price Rainforest Bouncer. When I went to choose a photo for this, I had about 200 to choose from. That should tell you that we use it A LOT. It's so key to have a couple of spots to put your baby down, and we used this SO SO SO much in the beginning. Even now we use it quite a bit and Finn takes a lot of naps in it.

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Not that useful for us:

Wubbanub Infant Pacifier. Finn never took a pacifier. We gave this to his friend Lucy though, who goes nuts over the wubbanubs.

Graco Jump N Jive Doorway Jumper. We can't use it... I am not a big fan of doing logical things like measuring to make sure stuff will fit before ordering. Do as I say, not as I do (especially if you have a super old house like us). I think Finn will love this though, when and if I remember to bring it over to his grandparents' house.

Graco Blossom Highchair. I don't hate this, but I wouldn't totally recommend it. I do like that it is on wheels and that it's convertible. BUT it breaks my golden rule of "baby stuff that is associated with eating, pooping, or peeing should not have fabric on it". Jury is still out on whether or not I will spring for a super awesome one instead (I'm looking at you: Stokke Tripp Trapp). (But who are we kidding, I probably will.)

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More Recent Awesome Stuff: Here's the thing that nobody tells you when you are making your baby registry. Stores? They STILL EXIST after the baby is born. Amazon Prime is my best friend, and I swear sometimes this stuff appears on my doorstep mere moments after I click order.

Bright Starts Around We Go Activity Station, Doodle Bugs. This guy is the hands-down #1 MVP in our house right now. We got it when Finn was around four months old, and it was great even then, but now that he's big enough to "walk" around the table it's even better. Finn goes nuts over it. When he's even older, the seat can be removed and then it will be an activity table. With a snack tray. Love.

Tuffo Water-Resistant Outdoor Blanket with Carrying Case. Sara recommended this blanket, and I actually registered for this but it wasn't in my original post. It should have been... we get so much use out of it. It's awesome at the park, the beach, and just on the floor in your house. Now that Finn constantly wants to be crawling around on the floor we take it everywhere.

Jolly Jumper Stroller Caddy. This was cheap and it's perfect for when you don't want to lug your whole diaper bag around but need a couple of things for a walk. Plus, two cup holders are key.

Trumpette Shoe Socks. These socks are stupidly expensive, but they are pretty much the only ones we ever use. I like the ones with the laces the best because it really does look like your baby is wearing shoes... and I am a bit of a stickler for Finn having at least socks on when it's cold out. The 0-12 month size definitely doesn't fit for that long though, and I'm contemplating springing for the toddler size now at six months.

Munchkin Fresh Food Feeder. This makes a huge mess but Finn LOVES it. Food from a spoon, sure, that's cool... but food from this mesh thing that he can feed himself? He goes nuts.

BABYBJÖRN Soft Bib. I've mentioned this before, but it deserves another shout out. These are the only bibs we ever use. They're easy to clean, catch food AND liquid, and stay on.

I could probably go on all day about baby products, and how it's super tempting to throw money at each new baby curveball that comes your way. But sometimes it's worth it. A lot of this stuff has been worth its weight in gold in terms of function and convenience. And cuteness. Let's not forget cuteness.

(If you'd like to ~~stalk~~ shop along with me, there's now a list on the sidebar of what Amazon has most recently dropped on my doorstep.)

More than halfway complete...

2011-09-28T11:34:00.003-04:00

Have you checked out the weekly Finn lately?

{This is one of Finn's new fall shirts, courtesy of his Mimi... but can someone please tell me why the 9 month size, which we thought he'd have to grow into, isn't looking at all too big on him? SAD!}

Three Decades

2011-09-27T09:54:00.002-04:00

A huge happy birthday wish to my favorite man on the planet.

As husband, father, and best friend, you blow us away.

We love you so much!

Food!

2011-09-26T08:02:00.000-04:00

Six months! Oh where did they go?! I'm so proud that Finn has been exclusively breastfed for half a year... but hitting this milestone means he gets to try something new... solid food!

We kicked things off with avocado...

For now, we're sticking with the one food at a time for four days rule, so there was more avocado to follow. I think he liked it a little bit more every day.

Next up was sweet potatoes. A sweet friend of mine loaned me her Beaba Babycook, and I have to say I love it. Could I do the same thing without it? Sure, but I am lazy, and having it means that I am way more likely to continue making Finn's food. I peeled a sweet potato, cut it into cubes, and threw it in the Babycook. About ten minutes later it was perfectly steamed and ready to be blended. I thought it tasted like Thanksgiving, and Finn agreed.

Around this point we wised up and realized that babies are best fed nekkid and that these BJÖRN bibs are amazing. I don't think we'll ever use a different bib.

This is a happy scream, I promise.

Four days of sweet potatoes later and we were ready to move on to peas. They have been the big winner so far. Finn likes them so much, he pretty much wants to bathe in them.

What should we try next?

(PS. For anyone interested (and I mean, why wouldn't you be?!), the old solid food + cloth diaper equation has been less terrible than expected. I did order a diaper sprayer though, which I'll be sure to review as soon as I get my hands on it.)

Catchup: Five Months

2011-09-13T23:39:00.001-04:00

August 23:

Dear Finn,

You are more and more fun every month, and this month is no exception. We love the little personality you're developing, and the big grins that you give out to everyone you see. You giggle when your Dad lifts you up in the air over his head, when your Mom gives you raspberries, and sometimes you giggle just for the heck of it. We love your happy disposition!

Speaking of your grin, it's no longer a gummy one. Your first tooth popped through at the beginning of this month, and the second one followed shortly after. This first round of teething wasn't too terrible for you, although we can definitely tell when your teeth are bugging you. Tylenol seems to help, as does the amber teething necklace we got for you. Apparently becoming your momma has turned me into a bit of a hippie. Your dad rolls his eyes a little bit when people ask about your necklace, but I say, anything that helps you, we will do (and I know deep down he agrees!). We're working on keeping your new teeth from interfering with breastfeeding. So far it's only been a tiny bump in the road.

We decided that four and a half months was the perfect time to sleep train you, and it seems like you agreed, because it went beautifully. We followed Dr. Ferber's plan, and it broke your Mom's heart to hear you fuss in your crib, first for three minutes, then for five minutes, then for the first six minutes of the ten minute window. You were only crying hard for a couple of those minutes, which is a good thing, because I couldn't have taken it for any longer. After those last six minutes, you were asleep! And you slept straight through for the next SIX HOURS. Things just got better from there and you rewarded us with a little more sleep each night. It's like a whole new world around here. You go to sleep in your crib without much fussing at all now, maybe a minute or two if at all. Your routine is now to go to bed between 8:30-9:30 and sleep for 6-8 hours. Depending on what time you wake up, I either nurse you in your room or in bed with us. Then you go back to sleep and usually end up with between 11-12 hours total overnight. We're still working on naps. You are a big fan of the 25 minute cat variety.

It was a whole lot harder to take your pictures this month, and that's a trend that I see continuing from now on. You don't want to sit in one place anymore... you are on the move! You surprised your Dad and I when you scooted yourself from one end of your crib to the other one night while we watched in amazement. You lift yourself into a pushup, then lunge forward onto your belly. Between that and your general squirminess, there's no leaving you in one spot and expecting you to stay there anymore.

There were a whole lot more outtakes this month:

And that was before you discovered your (delicious) sticker.

It's so much fun to watch you learn how to do new things, and to see how proud you are with your new found talents. This month you are particularly pleased with the volume levels you've been able to reach. You make some mmmm, baaaa, and gaaaa sounds, sure, but the more fun ones are the high pitch screeches that send our hands up over our ears. They're happy screeches though, and so we don't really know how to get you to turn down the volume! We're so impressed that you already know some animal sounds: Velociraptor and Screech Owl.

Five Month Stats: 17 pounds-ish (50-75th %), 27" (90th %)

Size: Mostly 6 month, some 9 month. I still squeeze you into some 3 month outfits but I'm going to have to give that up very soon.
Nicknames: Finno, Bubbah, Mr. Finn, Boo Boo, Finner, Finnyboo
Must-haves: Baltic Amber Teething Necklace, Lamaze Bill D. Beaver (a replacement for the puppy version that was adopted by Bodie the lab), Organic Cotton Teething Carrot
Milestones:
August 1: scooched from one end of your crib to the other
August 6: second tooth popped through, your bottom right
August 11: first night of sleep training, aka new record of six hours in a row
August 12: you discovered how much fun smacking your lips is
August 20: saying mmm mmm, which your mom is trying to turn into your first word
August 23: first earthquake... you were in the bathtub and your Mom ran out of the house with you wrapped in a hand towel!

It is truly a privilege to be your parents. We just can't get enough of you, little man.

Love you so much I can't stand it,
Momma

Almost Crawling

2011-09-09T09:30:00.000-04:00

We are in so much trouble.

My Seven

2011-09-06T22:49:00.004-04:00

I was tagged by one of my favorite bloggers, Julia at My Life in Transition, and thought it might be fun to look back through my posts to find some old favorites... here are the rules for this meme:

1) Blogger is nominated to take part
2) Blogger publishes his/her 7 links on his/her blog – 1 link for each category.
- Your most beautiful post
– Your most popular post
– Your most controversial post
– Your most helpful post
– A post whose success surprised you
– A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved
– The post that you are most proud of

3) Blogger nominates up to 5 more bloggers to take part.
4) These bloggers publish their 7 links and nominate another 5 more bloggers
5) And so it goes on!
6) The site Trip Base is sharing the best posts from participating bloggers on their blog and everyday on Facebook and Twitter at #My7Links

Most Beautiful: I have to pick the long drawn out telling of Finn's birth story for this category, and the last chapter specifically.

7/20/11

Most Popular: As far as page views go, (many thanks to Pinterest), the reveal of Finn's nursery is the most popular post here by far:

3/21/11

Tied with that post for the most comments though, is the announcement of his arrival:

3/26/11

Most Controversial: I don't tend to be the most controversial blogger, although I do get a mean comment every now and then just like everyone else. If there's anything that will get people worked up though, it's breastfeeding, and I was surprised that someone out there found my post on the subject to have an "undertone of condemnation". There were lots of others who found it helpful though, so you won't find me shutting up about my boobs anytime soon ;)

8/5/11

Most Helpful: Judging by the comments and emails on the subject, it's my two cloth diaper posts.

5/16/11

5/17/11

Post Whose Success Surprised Me: A year and a half later, and this is still one of my most popular posts. You wouldn't believe the number of people who find my blog by googling "river rock shower tile" and land on this post about our master bathroom renovation.

2/1610

Post That Didn't Get the Attention it Deserved: This is just silly, but I spent a stupid amount of time working on our Halloween costumes last year and got only four comments on that post. Just not a lot of love out there for homemade puffy paint sweatshirts?

11/2/10

Post I'm Most Proud of: I'm really proud of this post about my birth plan... I did so much thinking about it before I wrote it, and the words took so long to get right. Writing it really helped me come to terms with the things that went wrong and the things that went right with Finn's birth.

6/27/11

Wildcard: I'm adding in this bonus category. You know you've been reading my blog for a long time if you remember this one: corn knobs.

7/11/09

Tagging:
Brooke at Claremont Road
Kate at elefantitas alegres
Tiffany at The Toucans' Nest
Sara at Stinkerpants
M at Parenthetical Me

A Day in the Life {Evening}

2011-09-02T10:46:00.001-04:00

{Morning}
{Afternoon}

5:47 pm. We head into the grocery store and I'm chugging that ill-advised Frappuccino. Hubs rolls his eyes at me as I capture him choosing summer squash.

5:49 pm. He picks out onions. Finn is not impressed.

6:01 pm. Finn wakes up briefly in the dairy aisle but by frozen foods he's snoozing again.

6:17 pm. We've checked out and are headed back to the car. Finn wakes up from naplet number four.

6:33 pm. We're home and I feed Finn in his room.

6:45 pm. Hubs wants to go for a run and there's a brief debate about if he'll take Finn or not. Jogging with a stroller is actually a great training workout and he often takes him, but he's doing a 5K this weekend and he wants to run without him. Finn and I have our last play session of the day in his room while he's gone.

7:01 pm. We're still playing. He's in an awesome mood. Cue photo session.

7:15 pm. Still playing. I can't get enough of my boy and we're having so much fun. And I'm still snapping away.

7:30 pm. Sitting up is a new skill as of this week.

7:32 pm. But we're still working on it.

7:32:02. Clearly.

7:40 pm. Finn's dad is back from his run.

7:42 pm. He takes over the camera (and plays with the settings).

7:44 pm. Finn makes my heart swell.

7:46 pm. A lot.

7:48 pm. I have a boy. He enjoys fart noises.

7:49 pm. And hair pulling.

7:50 pm. Enough silliness. Finn gets serious about his locust yoga pose.

7:52 pm. Bath time. Dad's in charge.

8:07 pm. He's so fresh and so clean and ready for some snuggles.

8:08 pm. Finn's reflection in the mirror cracks us both up.

8:10 pm. The bedtime routine continues with a double-stuffed diaper.

8:12 pm. Dad's in charge of wrestling him into pjs.

8:13 pm. Finn looks quite dapper in his new (cousin hand-me-down) footie pjs.

8:14 pm. I nurse Finn and his dad reads him a bedtime story. Tonight's is Smooch Your Pooch. Then I rock Finn and hubs makes dinner.

8:28 pm. I snap one last picture of my sweet boy for the day and tiptoe out of his room.

9:04 pm. We sit down to eat at the dining room table. It's not a fancy night but it's delicious.

9:27 pm. We eat frozen key lime pie for dessert.

9:40 pm. I sit down to finish the Bachelor Pad and hubs works on his bike. I upload all the pictures from today and start working on a blog post. I stay up way too late.

11:40 pm. I finally head up to bed, stopping to kiss my sleeping baby before going to sleep.

It was a fabulous day.

A Day in the Life {Afternoon}

2011-09-01T07:06:00.002-04:00

{Morning}

1:09 pm. We left off with Finn asleep in his crib.

1:13 pm. I sit down at the computer to watch last night's episode of Bachelor Pad and work on a blog post. I'm shamelessly addicted to the Bachelor et al.

1:36 pm. Finn has other plans for his mom. He wakes up and I feed him in his room.

1:50 pm. After I feed him he gives me the gift of 15 more minutes of Bachelor Pad as he sits on my lap and follows along. But pretty soon Kasey really starts getting on his nerves (I don't blame him) and he's had enough.

2:05 pm. Diaper number four.

2:16 pm. Finn sits in his Bumbo chair while I change and fold some laundry.

2:40 pm. I think the Bumbo should be renamed and marketed as the Poop Chair (nice ring to it, no?). This is the face of a boy who is very pleased with himself.

2:42 pm. Diaper number five.

2:53 pm. Finn plays in his crib while I brush my hair and put some makeup on. Even though he's over five months old, we have his four-month appointment with his pediatrician this afternoon. It was already pushed back a month when we scheduled it, but was postponed another week due to the earthquake.

I get ready in Finn's bathroom, which hasn't seen the light of ~~day~~ blog since hubs redid it. Remember when this used to be a home renovation blog?

3:04 pm. We have some time to kill so we pull a few books down off of Finn's bookshelf. His attention span for books is pretty decent these days, which I absolutely love.

3:11 pm. Finn practices his push-ups.

3:14 pm. We play with the new ball toys that I just got for him. I thought they would be a big hit, but he likes them just okay. He much prefers something he can fit inside his mouth!

3:20 pm. A little intrigued.

3:29 pm. I grab a few things for the diaper bag (an extra cloth diaper, a change of clothes) and get Finn into his stroller, inside his car seat this time. We take Duncan for a quick walk.

3:38 pm. Finn's dad is home and we pile into the car.

3:52 pm. We arrive at the doctor's office. Finn is enjoying naplet number three of the day. A car ride is almost always a guaranteed nap. We check in and sit in the tiny well-child area of the waiting room.

4:16 pm. Finn's awake and we're entertaining ourselves with a cool concave mirror.

4:26 pm. We've been called back, weighed and measured. The nurse asks us a round of rapid-fire questions as usual. Today she wants to know if Finn is in daycare, what year our house was built (for lead paint concerns), and if anyone smokes around him. No, 1800, and no. We get signed up for an early lead test just to be on the safe side even though our paint has been encapsulated. Finn starts a fight with the paper on the exam table. He's on diaper number six now.

4:42 pm. The nurse is gone and I've fed Finn. We're still waiting for Dr. P.

4:51 pm. And we're waiting.

4:52 pm. Apparently Finn is still hungry.

5:14 pm. Dr. P. has come and gone and given Finn a clean bill of health. I had some questions today about Finn sleeping on his stomach. He rolls over just as soon as we put him in his crib, so I wanted to know if it was still important that we place him on his back. Dr. P. said that we still should. I was kind of surprised by that. He said we should start rice cereal for Finn around six months. I was thinking of going straight to vegetables so that's something I want to read up on. The nurse came in with one oral vaccine and two shots for Finn. Hubs holds him on the table for the shots. He's mad.

5:15 pm. He's over it.

5:24 pm. We're back in the car and headed grocery shopping. I love the little printout they give us at each visit of Finn's stats and the milestones for the next couple of months.

5:42 pm. A treat receipt is burning a hole in my pocket and we stop at Starbucks for a $2 Java Chip Frappuccino for me and a boring old latte for hubs. (This is a decision I will regret at 1 am when I cannot sleep.)

To be continued.... up next, how many pictures can I take of my husband grocery shopping before he wants to kill me?

A Day in the Life {Morning}

2011-08-31T09:31:00.002-04:00

August 30, 2011

7 am. Finn's been asleep since 3 am when I fed him in his room. That was a six hour stretch of sleep from his 9 pm bedtime, which is pretty typical these days although we hope for seven or eight. Hubs was about to leave for work when he woke up so he went into his room to get him, change him, and bring him to me in bed before he left. I nurse him and we both fall asleep.

8:29 am. I wake up and check the time. Whoa! Totally surprised that Finn let me sleep in.

Finn's pretty happy to chill in bed so I check my email and Twitter and play around on my phone for a bit. I send his dad a good morning text with a photo of Finn.

8:43 am. I decide I should dust off the "real" camera if I'm going to spend all day taking photos. I grab it and snuggle back into bed with my guy.

8:55 am. We could lay around forever (and sometimes we do); Finn is usually in a really good mood in the mornings. But we have plans to go for a walk with a friend, so I get dressed while Finn tries to scoot towards his favorite toy ever. Luckily for me, these days he usually ends up pushing himself in the opposite direction that he'd like to go.

9:04 am. I gather all the laundry that I want to get done today. Laundry grows exponentially with a baby...not only are there the extra baby clothes, but I change mine much more often as well due to spit-up and the like. We have an unusual amount today though, because we stayed at my in-laws' house over the weekend due to the hurricane and power outage. (Note the high school shout-out... aka the only proof I have that I "played" basketball for five minutes in tenth grade.)

9:10 am. Finn gets diaper number two of the day.

I get him dressed in his crib, which is becoming more of a wrestling match every day. He doesn't want to be anywhere but on his belly.

I take his weekly photo... we almost always do this one day early, and today is no exception.

9:30 am. We head downstairs and say good morning to Duncan who is asleep on the couch. I put Finn in his highchair while I start the laundry. This carrot teething toy from Giggle is a new favorite.

We play a couple of rounds of fetch... Finn does the throwing and I do the fetching of course.

I clean up the kitchen a bit and take care of the milk that I pumped yesterday at work... Finn's babysitter will use it tomorrow. I pump into big bottles and then portion it out into bags of four ounce servings.

9:55 am. I feed Finn in his room.

10:12 am. He falls asleep and I move him into his crib. I head downstairs to start another load of laundry and eat a breakfast bar. I get a text from my friend who was supposed to meet us for a walk saying she is still without power from the hurricane and is staying out of town so we're on our own this morning.

10:37 am. He's awake. Pretty typical and pretty frustrating naplet.

10:45 am. I put Finn in his stroller and head outside with him and Duncan, who is ready for walk number two of the day (Hubs took him for the first one at seven). It is a gorgeous day outside, 70 degrees and sunny.

It took Duncan a little while to get used to walking next to the stroller but now he doesn't mind too much.

I feel like a total goober for taking this shot but I know it will be fun to look back on someday.

11 am. We drop Duncan off back at home and head to Starbucks.

11:10 am. Venti iced green tea latte procured, we sit and watch the ducks for awhile. Moments like this make me really wish I could be a stay at home mom every day.

11:28 am. We head home and Finn gets diaper number 3.

11:30 am. We sit on the floor in the living room and Finn scooches around while I sort through some clothes that Finn's cousin handed down to him.

11:55 am. I move Finn to his doodlebugs play center and I start yet another load of laundry.

11:58 am. Finn plays while I make a grocery list.

12:03 pm. He's playing happily so I do the same on my iPhone for a bit.

I get a timely email from The Bump telling me that it's important that my 23-week old spends some time playing independently. Suddenly me playing on my iPhone is for his benefit... and to think I usually can't stand these emails.

12:20 pm. Finn gets bored so we move upstairs and scoot around on the floor some more.

12:32 pm. Finn's dad comes home to have lunch with us!

12:40 pm. We find a nice grassy spot to eat lunch. I have a delicious grilled corn, potato, and avocado salad. We don't always eat out for lunch, but we had to throw out everything in our fridge after the hurricane power outage so we're taking advantage of that excuse.

1:05 pm. Hubs has to head back to work. Finn falls asleep during the one minute walk back to the house and I move him into his crib... he actually wakes up for a second when I do so which is great because we're trying to get him used to going to sleep there by himself. He rolls over...he will only sleep on his stomach now... and falls back asleep.

To be continued... what do you do all day?

Goodbye Owl PJs

2011-08-25T22:26:00.000-04:00

These were our favorite PJs.

But we must have had a defective pair.

Because they have obviously shrunk.

*sob!*

More Hatley

2011-08-24T18:47:00.000-04:00

I'm working on a post on sleep... even though blogging about our success is probably going to jinx it.

In the meantime, I'm addicted to these daily shopping deal sites. It's seriously a problem.

Does a one-year old even need a raincoat? That didn't stop me.

Giggledeals has some good stuff.

And at least this one has a $10 off deal at the moment... click here for the code.

A vocab lesson

2011-08-22T15:10:00.000-04:00

As expected, becoming a mom has meant learning a lot of new lingo. Almost five months into this gig, everyone in this house knows the difference between a Boppy, a Bumbo, and a Bjorn. We've learned about Ferberization and "STTN" and even my husband can tell you what a pocket diaper is and why it's different from a prefold. But what I wasn't so prepared for was the realization that I didn't know the true definitition of a lot of words I casually threw around before my world was rocked by the arrival of our son.

1. Tired. Everyone knows that new parents are tired. Babies sleep a lot, sure, but not necessarily many hours in a row, and not necessarily at the times when you can take advantage and sleep yourself. When my brother had his first child, he told me that the lack of sleep was the hardest adjustment. I sort of heard what he was saying, but I brushed it off a bit. I can function on very little sleep, I thought. I made it through grad school, aced tests after pulling all-nighters, and worked long days after staying up way too late the night before. Caffeine does the trick for me, and I'm a champion napper. Sure I'll be tired, but it will be fine I'm sure. The thing is, you just don't know the definition of tired until you have a newborn. At the very beginning I was riding on adrenaline and was amazed at how easily I adapted to not sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time. Somewhere around two weeks in I felt like I had hit a brick wall.

We have different levels of tired in this house. There's "forget your name tired" when you walk around in a daze and suffer from a bit of aphasia. There's "throw up tired" when your lack of sleep leaves you queasy with your stomach in knots. And there's "shoot yourself tired", when everyone should pretty much just stay out of your way. Just recently I discovered a new tired. You know the feeling you get when you've actually slept too much, and it leaves you groggy and out of energy? I slept for almost seven hours in a row the other night, which I don't believe I've done in well over six months. And the cruel irony was that I woke up feeling terrible, because for my readjusted self, it was entirely too much sleep at once. I know this will pass. We're actually making pretty good progress in the sleep department over here, minus a few hiccups that teething brought along. But when I hear non-parents complain about "only getting six hours of sleep last night" or "staying up until 2 am", I really have to bite down hard on my tongue because, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

2. Joy. When I was pregnant I read an article about how having a baby actually lowers your average level of happiness. The highs are higher, sure, but the lowness of the lows pulls down the average once kids are in the picture. We have lows around here. Finn is just not that great of a sleeper. Teeth came early. Babies poop a lot. But I can't even begin to fathom that those challenges are enough to lower the happiness bar from the elevation it gets from the joys. There aren't words to describe the daily joys that having a child gives me. I have pinch-yourself moments every single day. I can't describe how happy I am in those moments. So yeah, poop still stinks. But there isn't anything that could take away from the crazy amount of joy that being a momma gives me. I know these were scientific studies that entered data into computers and beepbloopblip decided we were all happier before kids, but I just can't get onboard with it. And what is happiness anyways if not subjective?

3. Worry.
Dear Old Me,
Remember when you laughed at the idea of constantly checking your child in the middle of the night to make sure he's still breathing? Remember when you heard about this crazy product that promises to alert you with loud beeping if your child stops breathing and thought it was ridiculous? Well, you still think it's ridiculous, but you bought it three weeks ago when your baby started refusing to sleep in any position except face down with his nose planted in his mattress. You thought you knew what worry was, but that was before you decided to take part of your heart out and stick it in a teeny tiny baby's body. Now you know, and now you're happy for any crazy thing that makes you feel like your baby- your heart- is a tiny bit safer.
Love, New Mom Me

4. Blessed. I don't think this one needs much of an explanation. Starting a family with my husband has always been a dream of mine, and now I'm living that dream every single day. And I am so very very grateful for that. Maybe it was the drama that surrounded Finn's entrance to the world. Maybe it was my own drama in the days that followed. It could just be the feeling I get when I watch my baby as he sleeps. Whatever it is, I know I've never before appreciated life- pure and simple life- as much as I do now.

Catchup: Four Months

2011-08-17T05:49:00.000-04:00

July 23

Dear Finn,

You continue to melt my heart every day with your dimply smile. This month you showed the first signs that you might just be a Momma's boy. There were a couple of times when you got upset and only a hug from Momma could fix it. I'm not going to lie, I don't hate being the only one who can comfort you sometimes. You've started to fuss a little bit when you're tired, and only I can fix that too, but it's really nursing that you're interested in then! You continue to be a happy little guy most of the time though.

You kicked off this month with your first ride on your Pop Pop's boat, the Tomfoolery. It's named after your Pop Pop, and his name is where you and your dad each got your middle names. I'd like to say you loved it, but the truth is you spent most of your maiden voyage asleep. Maybe you were just resting up for the big milestone you conquered a few days later: rolling over onto your stomach! Technically you can do it in both directions, but much prefer rolling from back to front. You make your momma nervous because now you will only sleep on your belly.

The night before my thirtieth birthday, you gave me the best present a Mom can get: a big belly laugh! Your dad was picking you up over his head and you couldn't get enough of it. Oh Finn, seeing you happy just makes my heart explode. I love watching you discover all the joys of life, and I know that will be only the first laugh of so many playing with your Dad.

Another big new thing going on this month is that you're grabbing everything in sight. Toys, blankets, my hair, your brother Duncan's beard, books, you name it, you're grabbing it. And once you've grabbed it, it's headed in the direction of your slobbery mouth! Everyone has been asking us if you're teething, what with all the drool and how much time you spend with your hands in your mouth. We assure them that no, your pediatrician says all these things are normal and you're not yet teething. You sure had a surprise for us right at the end of the month when a shiny white tooth appeared practically overnight! We're blaming your more frequent nighttime wake-ups on that mean little tooth.

We took you on your first roadtrip this month, an overnight drive up to Maine to meet some more of your family and spend time where your Mom is from. You met three new Great-Grandmothers, a Great-Grandfather, and lots of Aunts, Uncles and Cousins while you were there. You also had your first swim in a lake, you rode on your Grampa's boat, and you loved playing with your Mimi in the water. You were a great little traveler and we're excited to take you on more trips this fall.

Four Month Stats: 16 pounds

Size: Mostly 6 month. We can squeeze you into some three month outfits but you're outgrowing them fast!
Nicknames: Finno, Little Man, Mr. Finn, Boo Boo
Must-haves: Graco Blossom Highchair, Lamaze Morgan the Monkey and Manhattan Toy Ziggle
Milestones:
June 25: first boat ride
June 28: rolled back to front
July 1: first laugh
July 7: tried out your highchair, you love to sit in it and watch us work in the kitchen
July 14: the week of grabbing everything in sight
July 22: first trip to Maine, saying a lot of "G" sounds

I think this has become a theme, but this month was the most fun one yet. We just love being your parents and having a front row seat to your life as you discover something new every day.

Love you so much I can't stand it,

Momma

Maine in photos

2011-08-14T22:35:00.002-04:00

In my thirty years I've never missed at least a glimpse of my home state in July. This year was our best trip yet.

We celebrated our third wedding anniversary with a little beach time (sans baby!), and a wonderful dinner (where we didn't bring the baby either but talked about him the whole time).

We threw Kate a baby shower and gender reveal party... it's a girl!

We took Finn to Sebago Lake for his first beach trip:

Swam a lot:

And then packed up the car for the long drive home:

Finn brought a souvenir home with him, can you see it?

YAY breastfeeding!

2011-08-05T15:16:00.003-04:00

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week I wanted to share how the first four months of breastfeeding have been for me and the little man here. At four months, Finn is still exclusively breastfed, and it's one of the most rewarding parts of motherhood for me. Here's our story:

I wanted breastfeeding to work for the million and one reasons why it's so great for you and for your baby. We've heard them all so many times (if you'd like a review, I recommend this science-based list of reasons to breastfeed and this awesome-based list of reasons to breastfeed, both are great). I took a breastfeeding class when I was 38 weeks pregnant to learn how to have best chance at making things work. So I learned all the "rules" about how establishing breastfeeding in the first few hours (minutes even!) after birth is so important. I knew about nipple confusion and how we weren't supposed to introduce a bottle or pacifier until one month. I was warned not to "give in" and give any formula. I was really really committed to breastfeeding, and therefore, to all the rules. We all know though, when it comes to birthing those babies, things don't always go according to plan.

So how much did breaking all the rules interfere with breastfeeding for Finn and me?

The short answer: it didn't.

On paper we did everything wrong. I promise I'm not listing all of these obstacles in order to brag about how we made it past them, but so that maybe someone will realize that you can still do it even if everything goes wrong at first. Finn wasn't placed on my chest immediately after he was born. Instead, we were separated for almost an hour. When we were reunited I didn't feed him right away (at the time we were too excited about introducing him to his grandparents). We did establish breastfeeding in the hospital, but on the day my milk came in we had nursed only once when were separated for almost 8 hours due to an emergency on my part. My four day old baby then had three bottles of formula. I had a majorly traumatic experience and was told my milk supply would most likely suffer because of it, not only because of my stress level, but also because of the blood volume I lost.

Finn and I didn't pay attention to the bad stuff though. We stuck it out and spent a lot of skin-to-skin time working out the whole food-by-boob deal. When we were reunited after my whole scary ordeal, and after he had enjoyed three whole bottles of formula, he latched right back on and nursed like a champ. I missed a lot of sleep in those early weeks (okay, and the later weeks too) by not letting Finn have a bottle of pumped milk too often, and I'm glad I toughed it out. Crucial to our success was the help of the lactation consultants in the hospital. During our five days there I was constantly asking for help. Even when things seemed to be going well, I kept requesting (free) consults, for the reassurance and because each new consultant seemed to have a different tip or trick to offer.

one week in

If I had to offer any advice to new nursing moms, it would be this: ask for help. You think breastfeeding is going to be this completely natural, easy, automatic process, and it's just not. At least not at first. There were two tips I was given that made all the difference for us. The first is, it's really not supposed to hurt. If it hurts then there is something wrong with the latch and you need to STOP your baby immediately. Now I won't lie to you and say that it can't be uncomfortable at first. Discomfort, sensitivity, pinching... all normal. Straight up pain, no. Latch, latch, latch is the location, location, location of the breastfeeding world, and it's so easy to screw it up at first. I popped Finn off of me due to a bad latch time after time after time in the hospital. He got pretty mad about it, but he would have been even madder if I'd stopped feeding him due to soreness caused by a bad latch. Even a few minutes of doing it wrong is going to cause you a lot of pain. So how do you recognize a good latch? My second best tip ever came from my breastfeeding class and it helped me so much. A properly latched baby should look like he is taking a bite of a HUGE sandwich. A big old boob sandwich. We're talking a wide open, triple decker, food challenge sized bite. My husband and I got kind of obsessed with this image, and I'd call him over constantly when we were in the hospital to ask him if it looked like we were doing it right. No boob for Finn unless he could open that mouth just as wide as he could.

Breastfeeding as a working mom is a whole new game. When I went back to work I had built up a small supply of frozen milk, and I add to that supply by pumping during my 3.5 days at work. Because of the concerns over my supply I have been pumping since Finn was just a week old. I've been very very lucky to be able to pump well over the amount that Finn will eat while I am away. Typically I can pump about two ounces for every hour we are apart, and he tends to take around one ounce per hour. Even though I love my pump, pumping is still a pain in the ass. There are so many times when I'm super busy at work or super tired, and I just don't want to do it. But I do, and I'm always happy when I return home with all the bags of liquid gold for my little guy. I work two seven-hour days when I pump twice, one ten-hour day when I pump three times, and a four-hour day when I pump once. That's eight pumping sessions at work, and inevitably I'll pump a couple of times at home per week as well, whether it's if we're leaving Finn with his grandparents for a few hours or if we're headed somewhere where it would be easier to feed him from a bottle.

Again, there are a couple of things that make a huge difference for me when pumping. First, invest in a hands-free pumping bra. I have this one (Simple Wishes Hands-Free Breastpump Bra) which I put on only when I'm actually pumping, and it's great because it wraps around you over your nursing bra or tank and you don't have to pull anything on over your head. This turns my pumping sessions into iPhone play sessions, and catching up on blog-reading, my twitter feed, or Words with Friends during work makes pumping a lot more bearable. Well worth the thirty bucks for the bra. My second tip is about the dreaded washing of the pump parts... this is easily the hugest pain-in-the-ass part of pumping. Maybe not everyone will be comfortable with the way I do it, but it makes my life so much easier. So here's the deal: breastmilk is just fine at room temperature for eight hours (some studies say even longer). On my longest day of pumping, my first session is at noon, my second at three, and my last at six, so guess what? Milk that may be on the pump parts is still fine. Do you see where I'm going with this? I don't wash the parts in between sessions. (Gasp.) The pumped milk goes into storage bags, which go in the fridge. Pump parts go into a (new each day) gallon sized ziploc and back into the pump bag. I wash them each night and sterilize them once a week or so with these microwave bags. It was actually a lactation consultant at the hospital that suggested this system to me (who also said that sterilizing is not necessary at all- your breasts certainly aren't sterile anyways) and I don't understand why it's not more popular. If you want to go crazy and put the pump parts into the fridge with the milk, they could last even longer.

I know that we are really really blessed that breastfeeding has been an easy journey for us. I have to say that most of the time, I really enjoy it. After a couple of weeks, Finn was a champ, and now latches himself on perfectly every time with no help from me. In those first weeks I only felt comfortable nursing him behind closed doors, but now that we've gotten the hang of it, we've nursed in the car, at restaurants, outdoors at a wedding, on a boat, and while blogging (including now!). I can (and do) nurse him in my sleep. Breastfeeding releases endorphins, and it certainly does make both of us happy. It's an instant soother, a quick solution in the middle of the night, and a constantly available, always perfect temperature, free food source for my child. Our goal is a long ways off, and we may hit other roadblocks along the way, but I'm optimistic that we can keep making this work.

last night

Boobs. Pretty much miracles, no?

Catchup: Three Months

2011-08-01T08:13:00.000-04:00

June 23:

Dear Finn,

Wow, this month has been full of changes for you. First of all, you're really talking up a storm. We love to have long conversations with you, although I'll be the first to admit I have no idea what in the world you're saying. One of your favorite activities is still your before-bedtime routine of laying in your crib, marching with your legs, and arms waving all around while you babble at us. There's a new noise coming out of your mouth every other day now, and you're so proud of yourself. It's pretty often that one of us calls to the other, "come see how cute your son is being right now!". That will probably embarrass you a whole lot someday.

Another big change has been your interest in toys. When we first brought you home we were so excited to show you all of your cool new stuff, but you really couldn't have cared less about anything but staring at our faces and maybe at your brother Duncan at first. But now you love to look at all of your stuffed animals, books, and toys. You even reach out and grab for them once in awhile, although you're still working on that hand-eye coordination thing.

You started off your third month meeting a couple of new friends. Little Lucy was only two weeks old when you met her, and you looked so big next to her I could swear there was no way there are only nine weeks between you. Later on that same day you met new baby Ryder on her second day of life. Again, your dad and I marveled at how much you've changed since you were the newest baby on the block. It's just amazing. Lots of ladies around for you, lucky little man!

We both had a huge adjustment to make this month as my maternity leave ended and I headed back to work part time. I'll never forget how wonderful those ten weeks we got to spend together were. It's a good thing we get two whole days during the week to spend together still, as well as two mornings and our weekends, all of which we appreciate so much. On the three days that I work, you spend your days with Miss Katie, and so far you have been having a blast with her. She sends me lots of messages and pictures of you throughout the day, and I count down the hours until I get to come home to you. Your dad arrives home first and takes care of you in the evenings that I work. I think you two really love your time together.

You surprised us this month by rolling over onto your back during tummy time. You did it only once before you decided that rolling from back to front is MUCH more fun. You're doing that regularly now, but aren't so much of a fan of rolling back. Needless to say you're spending a whole lot of time on your tummy as a result, and you are getting so strong! You're also really loving standing up in our laps. I hope that doesn't mean you're planning to be a walker by nine months like your dad was.

Your dad took you in a swimming pool for the first time on Father's Day, and although you disliked it strongly for the first minute or so, before long you were swimming with him happily. It was so much fun to watch you share your first swim with him. I know he's dying to introduce you to all sort of new adventures, like sailing and biking and skiing and who knows what else. I hope you love the outdoors as much as he does!

Three Month Stats: you didn't go to the pediatrician this month, but we think you're around 14 pounds
Size: You're still wearing most of your three month clothes, but you fit into all of your six month stuff now too.
Nicknames: Finny, Finno, Little Man, Mr. Finn, Boo Boo
Must-haves: Bumbo Seat, Manhattan Toy Winkel
Milestones:
May 29: met Ryder and Lucy
May 30: first day with Miss Katie, your nanny
May 31: rolled front to back
June 7: first set of vaccines, and first dose of tylenol!
June 19: first swim in a pool
June 20: sitting up in your Bumbo
June 21: reaching for and grabbing your toys

We just love watching your little personality emerge, which is full of spirit. You give a big wide mouth grin to anyone who smiles in your direction. We think you're so much fun, Finno.

Love you so much I can't stand it,
Momma

Zulily gets me again

2011-07-30T11:40:00.000-04:00

Hatley is on Zulily's blow out sale today!

I couldn't resist this:

Of course I remembered that I had a coupon code AFTER I hit purchase. It's

COUPREF3559 for 10% off if you're interested.

Need an invite? Here!

Because everyone needs more baby pictures

2011-07-26T23:25:00.000-04:00

I added a new link in the sidebar to Finn's weekly photos. Cliche but true... he is growing up SO FAST!

PS. If you read in a reader, come see my new blog design... thank you Joy!

Birth Story - Part 7 - The End!

2011-07-20T10:20:00.000-04:00

{Part 1}
{Part 2}
{Part 3}
{Part 4}
{Part 5}
{Part 6}

***************************

After third, fourth, and fifth tries with the vacuum extractor, it was clear that something else needed to be done. The baby was stuck. Dr. J told me that she thought I really needed an episiotomy. This was, of course, one of the interventions that I most wanted to avoid. It was an intervention that I'd read was performed much too routinely. In that moment I was so thankful that I had a provider who I'd had long discussions with about all of my options, and who I trusted had my very best interests in mind- my midwife, who was RIGHT there by my side. I looked her in the eyes and asked her if I needed it... and she said yes. It was decided.

After Dr. J cut an episiotomy, we tried pushing with the vacuum assistance again. It still wasn't working. She told me that she'd need to cut more. This time I didn't hesitate in telling her that was okay. It was around this point when I realized that more doctors were coming into my room. They were setting up around a warming bed. My midwives explained that when my baby came out, I wouldn't be able to hold him right away. They would need to check him first. I didn't panic. Again, I don't know why.

Instead of the minutes rushing by, now they were stalling, and I felt like I was on that bed pushing for hours on end. In reality, it had only been about 45 minutes. It seemed like Dr. J was working almost as hard as I was, and I know she was committed to helping me achieve the natural birth I wanted, and to letting me push for just as long as it was safe to do so. But some doubt was beginning to creep in. I could see the nurses on the phone in the room, some serious looking glances between Dr. J and the midwives, and I knew that we were only minutes away from discussing a cesarean section.

I gave myself a silent pep talk. I was so close. I felt like there was nothing left in me, but I forced myself to give everything I could to the next set of pushes. The nurse to my left looked me in the eyes and said, okay, we need to get your baby out now, and I know you can do it. I felt a contraction starting up and I took a deep breath in. I had a feeling that this was it, my last chance at doing this the way I wanted to do it. My husband and my nurses held tightly onto my legs and I pushed with every last bit of energy that I had left. After the first count of ten I looked down to see my son being born.

One smaller push and his torso was out as well, and feeling his body enter the world was one of the craziest and most amazing things I've ever experienced. Just as I can't put into words the intense pain that filled that day, I also can't describe the way I felt when I first saw my son. I have never felt such joy in my life. After thanking God, my first thought was amazement at how big he was! How had he ever fit inside of me?! As promised, he was whisked off to the warming table on the opposite side of the room immediately. Everyone around me was busy telling me that I had done a great job and that Finn was doing fine. There was some concern about his breathing at first, which he was definitely doing, but not with the level of gusto that everyone would have preferred. It was probably a minute later that I first heard him cry. Only then did I realize that he hadn't done so immediately. Again, I had this overwhelming sense that he was okay. Only looking back am I completely freaked out.

My husband was busy jumping back and forth between me and our son. Every time he came to my side I pushed him back to Finn, saying go be with him!, insisting that I was just fine, and confused actually as to why I wouldn't be. I felt great. On top of the world and truly never better. Dr. J and my midwives were stitching me up, which I found mildly annoying, but nothing more. As soon as he was born I had zero pain.

They brought Finn over to me before taking him out of the room for a few more tests, and I'll never forget that moment. He was wrapped in a tight little bundle, and I looked at his face for the first time and just couldn't believe that he was mine. That was the moment when it was all worth it. Every single contraction, every push, every single time when I thought I couldn't do it, and even the chaos that happened later.

My husband went with Finn and I stayed behind as Dr. J finished up with me, and I was joined my my Mom just a few minutes later. She had arrived at the hospital just as Finn was being born. I was high on adrenaline as I told her the story of the day and tried to describe how amazing her grandson was. It wasn't long before Finn was given a clean bill of health, and he and I were reunited. I got to hold him then for the first time. My husband and I couldn't get over how in love with him we were already. All this time that I had been pregnant, I was never able to really imagine what it would be like to have a real little person there at the end. Our little person. And now he was here and he was perfect and I couldn't imagine loving him more.

And just like that we were a family of three.

Three Years

2011-07-19T14:30:00.004-04:00

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life! Just when I think I can't possibly love you more, you prove me wrong.

7/19/2008 (photo credit SWW)

Here's to many many more.

Birth Story - Part 6

2011-07-18T08:16:00.000-04:00

********************
A new nursing shift came in at 6 pm, just as I was starting to push. I was annoyed by the disruption for about two seconds, as I quickly realized how wonderful my new nurses were. One stood by my head to my left, and my husband stood on my right. He helped to support my neck as a nurse and one of my midwives supported my legs.

I had thought ahead of time that I might not like "directed pushing" or having anyone count out loud while I pushed. Turns out that I really needed and wanted to be cheered on when the time came. They explained to me that I should push "into my bottom", and that's exactly what it felt like I was doing. (Pooping during labor was never a huge fear of mine, but I was happy nevertheless that I didn't.)

Pushing was such a huge relief from the pain. Now instead of just waiting for each contraction to pass, I was busy doing something during each one. It was also a whole lot of work though. I very much needed all of the encouragement I was getting from everyone in the room. They were doing all they could to help me, but it was pretty much my show in the end. I pushed for three counts of ten with each contraction. During that time I can't say that I was in pain at all. The pressure was beyond intense, but pushing made it bearable. I heard one of the new nursing assistants ask how I could tell when to push. She was confused because she couldn't tell that I was laboring without an epidural. I was pretty damn proud of myself in that moment. The nurses and my midwives were telling me that my baby was moving down and that I was doing a great job.

What happened after this point is a bit of blur to me. I had some pretty amazing natural endorphins running through my system by now, and I think part of the work they did was to keep me calm no matter what was happening around me. Thinking back about it makes me wonder why I wasn't freaking out, but at the time I had such a calm about me, which helped me focus on the hard work I was doing trying to push my baby out.

I had only been pushing for two or three contractions when I started noticing some buzz around the machine monitoring my baby's heart rate. It was explained to me that he "wasn't liking pushing very much", but not to worry. My midwives had me turn onto my side and one of the nurses gave me some oxygen. When changing my position a couple of times didn't seem to change anything, I was told that my baby needed a longer break than he was getting in between contractions. So for the next contraction, I needed to not push. I can't even describe how hard it was not to push when everything in my body was screaming at me to PUSH. It was next to impossible, but just like everything else on that day, I managed to do it. His heart rate came back up reassuringly, but it went down again with the next contraction.

My midwives explained that they were going to ask their back-up obstetrician to come in for some assistance, but again that I shouldn't worry. A cheerful blonde doctor appeared just a few minutes later and introduced herself as Dr. J. She asked my husband and I which one of us was the stubborn one, because surely our baby was taking after one of us in this situation. Her demeanor immediately put me at ease, and I didn't waste any of the precious energy I had left on getting worked up. My picture perfect labor had just taken a turn, but I still had all the confidence in the world that everything was going to be okay.

{Warning: this next part may not be best for the squeamish.}

The first thing that Dr. J wanted to do after watching a couple of contractions was to use a vacuum extractor to help pull my baby out. She explained that I was doing a good job moving him down but that after each push he was moving back up the birth canal. Normally I'm pretty sure this is allowed to go on for awhile, but the baby's heart rate was still causing some concern and he needed to come out faster. Dr. J explained that we would work together: me pushing and her pulling. With the next contraction we did just that. I heard a loud POP and looked down expectantly. What I had heard was the vacuum slipping off before it could do its job, and what I saw was a whole lot of blood.

Here is where things get really fuzzy for me. What I do know is that the mood in the room suddenly felt very different, and it was all I could do not to start to panic. Dr. J said immediately, "ruptured hematoma", and the midwives nodded. Hematoma? I knew that was just a fancy word for a bruise. And bleeding? Wasn't that fairly normal during birth? I looked for my husband, who was still standing right by my side. He was trying so hard to stay calm, and gave me the most reassuring look he could manage.

Dr. J tried the vacuum extractor a few more times, but it just wasn't working. I was pushing with everything I had, but I didn't feel like I was making any progress. I learned later that there was too much blood for the vacuum extractor to really grip my baby's head. I also learned later that this was the point when there started to be some concern for my safety and not just the baby's. At the time I had no idea.

What had happened is fairly rare, I'm told. I had developed a hematoma about three inches up inside of me. No one knows if it developed at some point during pregnancy or during labor itself. It wasn't due to any trauma, rather just to all the increased pressure. It was basically a blood-filled area that burst as the baby's head pressed up against it. I have no idea how large it was, but it contained enough blood (that I subsequently lost) that I needed two blood transfusions after delivery and an extra night's stay in the hospital. Normally when a hematoma is developing it's extremely painful. Since I was in active labor at the time, I can't say for sure, but I really don't recall any pain in that area in particular. I also remember being completely painfree between contractions which really wouldn't make sense if the hematoma itself was adding to my pain. So if hematomas are rare, and painfree hematomas are even rarer, I really shouldn't have been surprised when, despite being told how rare a reoccurence would be, it reoccured. After being home for 24 hours the hematoma returned and ruptured, causing an arterial bleed. I'm not sure that I'll ever want to write in detail about what happened on that day, four days after I gave birth. It began as the most glorious Sunday morning, our first at home with our beautiful new baby. I had just told my husband that I was feeling absolute elation over our new life. Minutes later I was on the floor in a pool of blood. I have never been so terrified, and it's hard for me to think about. I try hard to remember how blessed I am to have survived it rather than how unlucky I was for it to have happened in the first place. I am so very very grateful for my level-headed husband, quick-thinking on-call midwife, and an amazing crew of paramedics. An ambulance ride, emergency surgery, four more blood transfusions, and another two nights in the hospital later we were allowed to return home for the second time.

But back to the delivery room, where I had no idea that anything was or would be wrong. I was in a bubble where I had only one goal, and that was getting a healthy baby out of me. I know my husband was right by my side this whole time, but I'm pretty sure he was avoiding eye contact with me now, knowing that he had a less than reassuring look on his face. It didn't matter though, because I really did have tunnel vision. I could pay attention to nothing but pushing with everything that I had in me.

Birth Story - Part 5

2011-07-15T09:22:00.001-04:00

********************
While being checked for progress that third time, the thought that was running through my head was "please at least be a seven". That was my magic number, the line I'd drawn between feeling like maybe I could get through this and feeling like I couldn't. I was absolutely elated and energized when my midwife told me I was "a good eight". Eight! Eight sounds so very close to ten. I was thrilled. Things were about to change though, as eight also means the transition stage of labor.

My contractions quickly started to feel very differently than they had all day. I had been finding a way to get through the earlier contractions, mostly by relaxing, breathing, and escaping somewhere else inside my head. That was quickly becoming impossible. I'm not going to lie. Transition sucks. It was by far the most intense pain I've ever experienced. I'd try to describe it, but I really think I've blocked it out. I was lucky to still have breaks in between contractions, but they were becoming shorter and shorter, allowing nothing more than a quick catch of breath.

I survived by sitting on the end of the bed and staring into my husband's eyes. Getting through this part of labor was so much more active for me. No longer could I just will my body into a trancelike state. Now I had to fight to stay on top of the pain. I shifted around uncomfortably, held on to my husband's arms, and made a whole lot of noise. Along with the tightening pain that I'd be experiencing all day, transition brought with it an indescribably intense feeling of pressure. There was just no relaxing against it. My Hypnobabies track kept playing in my ears, but now it seemed laughable. I'd reached a place where it couldn't help me.

Later my husband would say that I was staring so hard at him that he thought at one point I was trying to transfer my pain through my eyes to him. I knew I was kind of acting like a crazy person, but in that moment he was my rock and I just had to trust that he knew his sane wife would return some day. For now he would have to handle the crazy version. Thinking back about this part I just cannot imagine having any one else in the room besides my husband. I needed to feel like I could do, say, scream anything I wanted to, and the only person in the world who I can trust at that level is my husband.

Once again my mind went to the epidural. I didn't care about the deal I had made with myself about my progress; I was too desperate for some relief. I asked my midwives if it was too late to get one, and they said that I could get one any time I wanted before ten centimeters. Okay then! It was settled. I would like to stop feeling this, thank you very much! But it wasn't that easy. It would probably take close to an hour before the anesthesiologist could get there, they told me. Also, while the epidural would take away the pain sensations, it would do nothing for the pressure. I have no idea how true these statements were. My midwives were after all trying to do what I'd asked them beforehand to do: help me have a drug-free birth. They told me that every single woman asks for an epidural during transition. I demanded to know how much longer this was going to last. They of course told me that there was no way of knowing. I kept demanding anyways. The older midwife finally told me that it was very unlikely that it would last more than two hours.

I somehow found a new resolve then, and with my husband's steady gaze, found a way to get through each contraction, one at a time. As I put each one behind me, I reminded myself that there really is no memory of pain. In the brief moments between them, I didn't feel any. It also helped to think about the fact that that contraction that had just ended? I would never feel it ever again. My midwives suggested that I walk around, but I looked at them as if they were crazy. I also had no interest in getting back in the tub, knowing that I wouldn't be allowed to actually give birth there (hospital policy), and not being able to bear the thought of climbing in and out of it again.

After about forty-five minutes, the pressure I was feeling intensified yet again. I yelled out and told my midwives about it. They let me know that it was normal during this stage of labor, but it felt distinctly different to me. Just a couple of contractions later the feeling turned into a searing burn. A comment about that sensation brought on a flurry of activity in the room. My midwives put on gowns, the nurses wheeled over a tray of instruments, and someone asked if I wanted a mirror. My progress was checked for the fourth and last time and my midwife confirmed that I was a ten and ready to push!

I don't think I've ever been so excited. I'd progressed from eight to ten in just under an hour! I think everyone in the room was surprised that things had moved so quickly. It was a rough hour, but now it was over. It was the only part of labor that I will not try to tell you was bearable. It wasn't, and yet, I did. I felt so proud and so accomplished. I had gotten through the worst of it and I just couldn't believe how close I was to meeting my baby. I was given the option to reach down and feel my son's head, which I did. Such a strange and amazing thing, touching the top of his head. They wheeled over a huge mirror, but I have very little recollection of seeing much of anything. He was so close, they told me, "two pushes and he'll be out!"

Let me end the suspense right here- it didn't go that way at all.

********************

To come:
Part 6: The Scary Stuff
Part 7: He's Here!

Birth Story - Part 4

2011-07-13T08:24:00.000-04:00

{Part 1}

{Part 2}

{Part 3}

********************
I rode out most of the afternoon laboring in the tub with my Hypnobabies soundtrack. I braced myself through the transitions from tub to bed and the twenty minutes of monitoring that followed. Those were the longest minutes of the whole day, and I couldn't help but watch the clock during them, yelling for the nurse to come and unhook me from the monitors just as soon as the time was up. Otherwise, as long as I was in that tub, my labor really flew by for me. Sometime around 2 pm, which marked three hours at the hospital and nine hours of labor, I asked for something to eat, and was given the options of Jell-o, soup broth or a popsicle. Ahead of time, I had prepared myself to argue if I decided I needed something else, but when the time came I really didn't want to eat anything more substantial. I chose the Jell-o, and inhaled two cups of the vaguely named "tropical" flavor. My husband ate the third cup that we were given, which was strawberry, or cherry, or some other artificial red flavor. So that he could keep up his energy and be my perfect labor coach, we had a bag of snacks carefully purchased and packed ahead of time. Which of course we left in the car. You can imagine that I wasn't about to let him leave my side long enough to use the restroom, let alone run back out to the car. He managed the job of perfect labor coach anyway on the sustenance of one cup of red generic Jell-o.

As the time ticked on towards five o'clock and the return of my midwives to check my progress, the pain definitely intensified. I played a few different mind games with myself to get through it. One technique I tried used my so-called unproductive contraction pattern to my advantage. I had been told that the smaller aftershocks of pain after my contractions were called couplets. At this point my contractions were coming about three minutes apart and there was about a thirty second gap in between the first stronger contraction and the smaller one. With all of those contractions coming so closely spaced together, it was difficult to keep track of which was which. So I decided to tell myself with the start of each contraction that this one was the smaller one, the easy one. I did it over and over again. Just relax, this is the easy one. Apparently I am pretty gullible while in labor.

Even with the success of all my mind games, the exhaustion was starting to set in, and around four o'clock I remember telling my husband that I couldn't do this much longer. Nothing was working. I was trying desperately to relax, but the contractions were getting so strong that it was nearly impossible not to tighten up in response to them. I pushed my husband's hand away when he tried to press on my forehead, which had been so helpful a few hours prior. I so desperately wanted a break. Thoughts of getting an epidural started to creep into my mind. I had heard other women describe it as the most wonderful thing ever. Women even took naps during their labor after getting an epidural! Why the heck hadn't I wanted that again?

I needed a break so badly that I decided to take one. That's right. Eleven hours into labor I decided I'm not going to have this next contraction. Nope, not going to feel it. And just like that I tricked my brain into just not feeling the intense bout of pain that was my next contraction. And the next. I tricked myself so well that I actually started to worry that my labor was stalling. I'm really not sure how I did this, but looking back it seems like I truly had entered the semi-hypnotized state that the tracks I'd been listening to for hours had promised. The Hypnobabies tracks were just so amazing in keeping me calm and still. The trance was sort of like that funny thing that happens when you're driving to work and you look up and realize you're there, but don't have any recollection of the last five miles you just drove. Over and over I heard the soft voice tell me that every hour I was in labor would feel like ten minutes, and that every contraction would be easier than the last. It had seemed like hocus-pocus to me at first, but at this point I was buying into it one-hundred percent. Each contraction really did feel easier than the last.

It was almost five o'clock and my midwives were due to return any minute. I interrupted my trance just long enough to tell my husband that I was pretty much done with labor. I was doing well, but I knew I just didn't have much energy left in me. I told him that if I wasn't at least seven centimeters dilated when they checked me that I was going to ask for an epidural. I felt okay with my decision, like I had really given it my all, and that I was proud of how far I'd gotten without any drugs. My husband reminded me, like we'd discussed ahead of time, that getting an epidural was not part of my plan. I told him that I hoped I wouldn't need it, but that I just couldn't do this for that much longer. It had been about six hours since I had last been checked, and at that time I had been four centimeters dilated. I told my husband that either the Hypnobabies stuff had really worked, or my labor had stalled and that was the reason I was feeling less pain. I tried to be confident that it was the former, but if I'm being honest, I was pretty nervous about that check.

The young nurse came in to move me back to the bed, and she asked if I had gotten better at dealing with the contractions or had my labor slowed. I knew by now to ignore her obnoxiously worded question, but it was the one I was asking myself as well. I climbed onto the bed and held my breath as my midwife checked my progress.

Birth Story - Part 3

2011-07-11T12:00:00.000-04:00

{Part 1}

{Part 2}

*********************

Although I wanted to snap at the young nurse who had just let me know just how much harder my labor was going to get, I didn't have to. Older-wiser nurse cut her off just as she was telling me that I didn't yet know what a ten was going to be like by telling her to mark in my chart that I'd rather not be asked my pain level. If you want a sure-fire route to an epidural, try stopping what you're doing to manage your labor pain and thinking carefully about just how much pain you're feeling. If I had written a birth plan, I'd be highlighting "NO pain scale questions" in bright yellow.

After what seemed like an eternity, my required twenty minutes on the monitors were up and I was allowed to get off of the monitors and into the tub. Tiny as it was, that tub was heaven. It had a handheld showerhead, and I wasted no time in getting that thing turned up to the hottest setting possible and spraying it directly on my huge belly as I sat in the water. I can't even describe the relief. And that's how I survived... I closed my eyes and tried to pretend that I was in a big comfy whirlpool tub rather than scrunched into a narrow one. I wore nothing but a sports bra and my iPhone earbuds from then on out, not caring one bit about the parade of nurses coming in and out of my room, just like everyone says. My husband sat in a chair next to the tub, holding my precious phone, which was playing my Hypnobabies labor track, and leaning over to aim the stream of water from the showerhead on my stomach. He had a backache from all the hours he spent leaning over into that tub. He wins more points than he already had for the fact that he didn't complain about it one bit.

The whole labor process was such a mind game for me. As hippie as it sounds, I took all the advice from the yoga birth workshop I attended and from Ina May's Childbirth book about picturing your body opening up with every contraction. I thought about each one as a wave washing over me, and I tried to remind myself that the pain was purposeful and important and good. Not trying to fight against it was the key for me in getting through it. The more I could relax every last muscle in my body and let it do what it needed to do, the better I felt. I started out breathing deeply and slowly, but later found that shallower breaths felt much better. I gave up clenching my fists and my face and instead tried to lay as still as possible, concentrating on the feeling of the water spraying against my skin. I basically tried to trust my body and stay the hell out of its way.

Even though I didn't follow the program exactly and definitely slacked on listening to all the tracks that I was supposed to during my pregnancy, I leaned heavily on Hypnobabies during my labor. There is one technique in the program where if you feel you can't relax as much as you need to, you can ask your birth partner to press on your forehead, say the word "release", and instantly you'll find yourself more deeply relaxed. My husband and I were supposed to practice that technique in the weeks leading up to labor, and we found ourselves in fits of laughter more than once when we did. Somewhere around eight hours into labor though, I wasn't laughing, and instead whispering "help" which signaled my husband to press on my forehead just as we'd ~~half-assed~~practiced. While he did that, I worked on pretending that I couldn't feel anything below my shoulders, and concentrated on the feeling of his cool hand against my face. Thinking back on it now, it seems ridiculous. At the time, it seemed life-saving.

My time spent in the tub was challenging, but I felt like I was doing a good job and that I was really handling labor well. Just about once every hour though (I have a feeling it wasn't quite that often but it seemed frequent), young nurse would pop into the bathroom and announce that it was time to be monitored. As soon as I climbed out of the tub (which was a production in itself), my whole body would be gripped with a strong contraction that I was never able to relax my way through. It was jarring, and those contractions felt absolutely terrible. Somehow they felt grinding, as if my body were composed only of teeth that were gnashing against each other. I'm sure it was the rude interruption of my zen-like bathtub state that made them feel so terrible, but terrible they were nonetheless.

During one of these interruptions, I decided that it would be a good time to ask about the strange feeling I'd been experiencing after each contraction. The pain would stop for a moment, and then I'd feel what seemed to be a small contraction again, almost like an aftershock. The second contraction was definitely much easier to deal with, but it was still a contraction. I started to ask older-wiser nurse about what I was feeling, but younger nurse heard me from across the room and decided to answer for her. "Couplets. You're having couplets. It just means you're not having a productive contraction pattern!" Then she smiled proudly as if she had given the winning answer on a game show.

(If you look carefully you can see a little hill following a big hill... one of my "couplet" contractions.)

Seriously? You're going to tell a laboring woman who thinks she's doing a good job that her contraction pattern (which she has no control over, thankyouverymuch) is not productive? I started thinking that all of that pain I'd been feeling was for no good reason at all, and it made the next few contractions just that much harder to deal with. What if I'm not progressing? I let my mind wander to the thought of a terrifyingly long labor, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with worry. Then something I had read in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth popped into my head. Your body is not a lemon. My body had successfully conceived, incubated, and grown a human over the past nine months. And it did that with so little conscious help from me. I didn't have to instruct my uterus to grow larger, tell the egg to implant or oversee the development of the perfectly four-chambered heart that we had seen on ultrasounds. Who was I to start doubting my body's abilities now? The full passage from Ina May's book reads:

"Remember this, for it is as true and true gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body."

That nurse was not going to play a part in my labor story any longer. I ignored her from then on out and that was the last time that I doubted my body's ability to birth a baby. I took a deep breath and got back to the business of staying out of my own way.

Weekend Ramblings

2011-07-10T16:00:00.001-04:00

1. First of all, thank you for all of your sweet comments on my birth story posts. I'm so glad to finally be getting it all written out and your comments mean the world to me. Part 3 will go on Monday. Yes it's kind of getting ridiculously long. Thanks for reading anyways.

2. Thank you also for the birthday wishes last week! We had a great weekend (thanks Mom and Dad for arranging my birth to coincide with a holiday weekend) including a shopping trip, our first dinner out sans Finn on Saturday, and a (semi-surprise) party on Sunday. It was on a boat and was attended by friends, family, and three babies in Bjorns (can't believe we didn't get a picture of that).

Saturday: of course all we did was talk about Finn.

Baby in a Bjorn on a Boat.

Hubs arranged a fireworks display for my bday ;)

Ages, L-R: 8 months, 30 years, 3.5 months.

3. If you follow me on twitter you might remember me mentioning a bathing suit purchase made from my iPhone at 4 am during a particularly long and boring feeding session. I thought that might not end well, but it's here and it's not half bad! My first one-piece since middle school. Lands End Canvas for the $20 mom suit win.

This is the print, which doesn't look that brown in person:

4. My child is just not that into sleep. We moved him into his crib a few weeks ago, and he slept really great for one night. Then we tried swaddling him again which we haven't done in awhile and he slept really great for one night. Then we stuck him in his bouncy chair in his swaddle in his crib and that worked for, you guessed it, one night. And when I say worked, I mean that he slept for five hours. Every time I read about someone's baby sleeping for nine or ten or eleven hours I get a bit stabby. Hubs and I are reading sleep books left and right and this week we're going to attempt a more rigid schedule for the little dude.

Sleep, no. Giraffes, yes.

5. Finn laughed for the first time last weekend. It was awesome, and we even caught it on video. Don't ask me why he has his shorts on his head. Strange things happen when sleep deprived Dads are in charge.

Birth Story - Part 2

2011-07-08T07:57:00.000-04:00

{Part One}

****************

After my water broke I remember foolishly being frustrated that I had to change out of my favorite pair of yoga pants, the pants that I had planned on wearing as I labored around the house for the next few hours. I quickly calculated in my head that we'd definitely still be at home in an hour and a half and so threw them into the wash. (No, I hadn't yet learned my lesson about not being a crazy planner.) Almost immediately though, my contractions became noticeably different. I felt like the waves I was riding had changed from a slow rocking to a nauseating swell that made me change the way I coped with them. The counter-pressure became not just nice but urgently necessary and I yelled sharply to my husband when he wasn't immediately providing it with each new contraction. I also started vocalizing, something that I wasn't sure I could ever picture myself doing. I tried to remind myself to keep my voice low, and found myself making buzzing noises through my lips, a sound that my not-in-labor self cannot now recreate. At this point, and probably in part due to the strange noises now coming from his wife, my husband was starting to get a bit nervous, and to be honest, starting to drive me a bit crazy as he kept asking if we should head to the hospital. I reminded him a couple of times of our plan to labor at home as long as possible, but after a few more contractions I was ready as well. We called the midwife again and I'm pretty sure she could tell by the change in my voice from my previous call that things were moving along. She told us to head in to the hospital and she'd meet us there.

We scrambled to grab our things and were heading out the door when I remembered that I had really wanted one last photograph of me at my most pregnant. My husband snapped one shot, and prepared to take ~~one~~ five more- as had been our routine over the past 39 weeks. Instead I snapped at him after just one that I was not going to stand there all day and to stop taking my picture.

My smile in this picture though, is not fake. Something that I found SO amazing about labor, and that I'd remark on many, many times throughout the day, was that when I wasn't having a contraction, I felt zero pain. It's really a strange feeling, to be gripped by a crazy amount of pain in one moment, and to be completely released from it in the next moment. I can't think of any other time when that is true.

The ride to the hospital, although just over five minutes long, was miserable, as I was expecting from pretty much every story of labor that I've ever heard. I sat in the back, unbuckled next to the car seat, begging my husband in one breath to slow down and in the next to hurry up and get there. There is just no comfortable way to labor in a car. In our frenzy we forgot that our hospital has valet parking and instead drove into the parking garage, found a spot on the second floor, and took the elevator down to the lobby. I'm sure we were quite a sight, me gripping my pillow and clearly in active labor, and my husband carrying three big bags. Oh hello friendly folks in the elevator, don't mind me, or my huffing, puffing and carrying on, just in labor here, no big deal. I tried to pretend like I was totally calm and that I knew what I was doing!

I was offered a wheelchair once we got inside but refused it, as sitting down seemed like the worst idea ever. I preferred to hang my arms around my husband's neck with each contraction, pausing in the hallway and making quite the scene. Finally we made our way to labor and delivery, where we were given a bed in the triage area, and I was told to change into a hospital gown.

It seemed pretty quiet that day, which was strange, being a Wednesday morning, prime time for scheduled inductions at my intervention-happy hospital. I asked a nurse if they were busy or not, having my eye on one of two rooms that I knew had tubs in them. She said that triage had been busy but that they had been sending a lot of early-laboring moms home. (I grinned when she added that she didn't think I'd be one of those heading home.) During our hospital tour we were told that the tubs were in the two largest rooms and so they were usually reserved for moms of multiples. The tubs were little and not much to get excited about, but I had heard so many good things about the calming effects of water that I really wanted to try laboring in one. I smiled the sweetest smile I could manage and asked if I could have one of those rooms.

Waiting in triage for my midwife to arrive was a bit excruciating, as I had to sit up on a bed and my husband couldn't help in the same way he had before. I was really feeling like I was losing my rhythm in dealing with the contractions already, and so I decided to try listening to my Hypnobabies labor soundtrack on my iPhone. The way the Hypnobabies program works is that you listen to different tracks on a specific schedule in preparation for labor, but you don't listen to the labor track until you're actually doing it. I didn't follow the program very well, and hadn't done nearly as much work as I should have, so I didn't know how much I'd get out of it. Who knew that once I turned it on I wouldn't turn it off for the next eight hours.

My midwife, Kim, arrived and I was so thrilled to see that she wasn't alone! She had with her the student midwife, Brooke, that I had seen and loved the week before. While I also liked Kim, she was quiet and no nonsense and I didn't feel a real connection with her. Brooke was bubbly and enthusiastic and I had really hit it off with her. I was thrilled that as a student she was allowed to pretty much do all of my care while the other midwife supervised. She started off my checking my progress. I had my cervix checked a total of four times during my labor, once being earlier in the week when I was one centimeter dilated. Each time I held my breath, and not because it was terribly painful (I didn't find it that bad), but because mentally I knew how much the number would affect my attitude. I was thrilled when Brooke informed me that I was "a four, a good four". I didn't consider anything I'd been through so far particularly unbearable, and I was already a four... that sounded fabulous to me.

I reminded Brooke how much I'd like to be in a room with a tub and she said she'd see what she could do. A nurse came into to take us to our room and I immediately ran in to see which one we were given. Hallelujah! It was a huge room, one of two on the whole floor with the elusive tub.

The tub was tiny as expected, and for a moment I wished that we were across the street at the birth center, where the tubs were huge and had jets. Next time, I told myself. I had my husband start the tub up for me right away anyways. When I first got to the room I had to be monitored for thirty minutes. Although I had the option of a portable monitor I still wouldn't be able to get into the tub with it on, and so I opted for the traditional one and tried to relax on the bed the best I could. My midwives explained that I needed to be monitored for twenty minutes out of each hour and my nurse inserted a hep-lock after I explained that I did not want an IV. I was instructed that I'd need to constantly be drinking water if I wanted to avoid IV fluids. Two nurses came in to introduce themselves, and the younger of the two burst out with a rushed speech: "Hi! I know what I'm doing! I might not look like I know what I'm doing because I'm new here but I'm not new to nursing, I'm just new here and so sometimes I look like I'm confused but I'm not, I know what I'm doing!" Let's just say that wasn't very reassuring.

While I waited for the initial monitoring to be over, young nurse started firing off questions and entering my information into the computer. At first I was patient with her, but it seemed like she was asking me things that I'd answered before and should have been already there. It turns out she was just confirming everything, but in the most drawn out and annoying way possible. Not fun normally- excruciating while in labor. She then asked me for the first time what my pain level was. I understand why she was asking, but my midwives had already made it clear that I was prepared for, and had the goal of, a natural labor. I knew what drugs were available to me, and I didn't need her to monitor my pain level for me. I explained that to her again as I told her I was maybe about a seven.

I tried managing my contractions the way we had at home- by leaning over a chair and having hubs put pressure on my back. This had brought me so much relief only an hour earlier, but now it seemed awful and I snapped at my poor husband to stop. Throughout the day I definitely had to change up the way I dealt with the pain many times. I tried to focus on the words in my ears on the Hypnobabies track that was playing. I had let them fade into the background, but now I found more relief by slowing my breathing and focusing on each word. I was buzzing my lips a lot at this point too, and my midwives assured me that I was doing an excellent job before they headed back to their office for a few hours. I was a bit surprised as I thought they'd play a much more active role in helping me manage labor than they did. Thank God for my husband. Despite all the snapping I did at him during contractions, I thanked him profusely in between them.

In the middle of a contraction I was interrupted by young nurse asking once again what my pain level was. I mumbled a weary "I don't know" and she launched into explaining to me just exactly how the 1-10 pain rating scale system works. She finished with this helpful tidbit: "You might think what you're feeling now is a ten, but you really want to give yourself some room because it's going to get A LOT worse."

Birth Story - Part 1

2011-07-06T07:52:00.001-04:00

The first thing I remember on the day my son was born was rolling over and searching for my phone to check the time. 5 am. I had been tossing and turning for awhile, willing my eyes to stay closed despite the nervous excitement that came with each cramp that rolled over my midsection. They say you'll know when it's real, and despite thinking I had been going into labor multiple times over the past couple of weeks, this time there was no question. The pain was different, commanding my attention though still completely tolerable, and reminded me a bit of the kind of cramping that sends you running to the bathroom or reaching for some pepto bismol. I knew we had a long day ahead so I tried as hard as I could to fall back asleep. I couldn't help checking the time though, and noticing that contractions were coming about every six or seven minutes. I thought about waking my husband, but knew he could use as much sleep as he could get too. So I lay in the dark and silently talked to my baby. Today's the day, little man. It was a bit exhilarating, and I felt like we had a secret between us; only Finn and I knew that today would be his birthday.

My husband's alarm went off at 6:30 and I didn't let him roll over to hit snooze, instead waking him with a cheerful "you're not going to work today!". His eyes popped open and he looked like a kid on Christmas morning. "Really!?" Yes, I was sure. He kicked into perfect husband mode and made sure I was okay, got me a fresh glass of water, and helped me make a mental list of the last minute things we needed to get together. We sat in bed as he timed my contractions on his phone for the next hour or so and tried to sleep a bit in between. I knew I wanted to take a shower and get ready before things got too intense, so I yelled to my husband every time I had a contraction in the shower. We both knew that we didn't have to be so crazy about timing each one, but it made us feel like we were maintaining some level of control over the situation, so we kept it up.

Crazy as it sounds, I decided to blow dry and straighten my hair. I wanted to feel like myself. I also knew I probably wouldn't have the chance to do so for the next few days in the hospital. Also nuts was my husband's decision to give himself a haircut. We laughed at ourselves as we got ready together, pausing and turning the blowdryer and hair clippers off every five minutes or so when a new contraction came. Things were getting a bit more intense and I asked my husband to press on my lower back in order to apply counter pressure with each contraction as we had learned in our yoga birth class. It was really helping and I was breathing really deeply in order to get through the waves of pain, which were lasting about 45 seconds. I was almost enjoying the process at this point, and feeling proud of myself for working through the contractions. At some point during this time while we were getting ready on the third floor, our dog starting barking ridiculously loudly on the first floor. That's certainly not out of the ordinary for him, but he wasn't stopping and that's not so normal. Finally we realized that the electrician, who was scheduled to work on our latest bathroom renovation, had arrived. My husband ran downstairs to let the poor guy know that his wife was in labor, and he was going to have to come back another time!

After I finished getting ready (and I confess that I even added a little makeup to my pale face that morning), I called my Mom to let her know that she should probably start thinking about buying her plane ticket. The plan all along had been for me to call her as soon as I was in labor, and I couldn't believe that I was finally making that phone call. I was a bit nervous that she'd arrive only to have things stall out, and so I asked her to wait an hour or so for an update from me before booking her flight. Although I had thought ahead of time that I might like to update my blog to let everyone know that I had gone into labor so that I could be cheered on all day long by my friends, I had absolutely no interest in doing so when the time came. For some reason it felt like a secret that I enjoyed keeping. I did send my friend Katie a text message, wishing her a happy thirtieth birthday, and letting her in on the fact that someone else would soon probably be sharing that birthday. I also had to let my friend Nina know that I wouldn't be meeting her for breakfast that morning as we had planned... "I think Finn has other plans!!!!" I texted her, and then "I think these are real ones".

I called my midwife around 10 am just to let her know that things were happening. She told me try to relax as much as I could and to let her know when things got a bit more unbearable. The contractions were still coming around five minutes apart and I was managing them well with some help from my husband. We started using another technique we learned in our yoga birth class, where he actually sat on my lower back while I kneeled over a chair. The pressure of his weight on my lower back felt amazing. At some point, we decided that it would be a good idea for him to walk our dog, who we would be leaving at home when we left for the hospital with the plan that my father-in-law would pick him up in a few hours. It was during this time when he was gone that I was sitting in our living room and felt a funny POP... followed by a huge gush of liquid. I jumped up, started to run towards the bathroom, then thought better of walking across our living room rug, and ran in the opposite direction into the kitchen. This moment sticks out in my mind so strongly. I had this amazing feeling that my body knew exactly what it was doing, when to do it, and that labor was progressing beautifully without my having to think about it or control it. Feeling like I was just along for the ride and trusting my body was so crucial for me during labor and I felt it so strongly in that moment.

The first thing I did after changing into a new pair of yoga pants was to call my mom and let her know that she should go ahead and book that plane ticket.

11, 12, 13, 14, 1560

2011-07-02T14:18:00.000-04:00

Happy Fourth of July weekend! With love from Finn, who is 14 weeks old, and his momma, who is celebrating week number 1560.

In case you don't have a calculator handy, in years that works out to the big THREE ZERO.

Thirty! (Or alternatively, the first anniversary of my 29th birthday.)

Wasn't I just turning twenty-one?

Enjoy the long weekend everyone!

My Birth "Plan"

2011-06-27T07:51:00.014-04:00

My birth plan consisted of one sentence: I want every single intervention that I need and zero interventions that I do not need.

"Need" was to be determined by me on the advice of my midwives. And to me, intervention meant every time someone had to touch me, whether it be administering drugs, the insertion of an IV, vacuum or forceps assistance, an episiotomy, or the ultimate in interventions- a cesarean section.

So did I accomplish that? Yes. Did I have the birth I thought I wanted? Not exactly.

I prepared myself for a completely medication-free labor and delivery, and I'm ridiculously proud of myself for achieving that (sorry for the self back-patting), given that it was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I also prepared myself for an intervention-free delivery, and read up on all the reasons why interventions, when done unnecessarily, are terrible for both mom and baby. Unfortunately, during my delivery, I needed interventions. I needed interventions to make sure that my son entered the world quickly and safely. I needed smaller interventions to avoid major interventions. I came very close to needing a cesarean section, but smaller interventions (and an amazing obstetrician) allowed me to deliver my son vaginally.

My attitude has changed a bit now, and I'll admit that I had some stubborn opinions about things being pushed on laboring women, and on doctors who didn't have those women's best interests in mind. I was blessed that the obstetrician who was backing up my midwife team was a woman who cared about what I wanted and how important it was to me to have as close to a natural birth as I could. She truly cared about the health of my son and me.

I feel only a little bit sad that things didn't go exactly as I had planned. I'm a planner, I'm a control freak, and I don't like to feel like things are happening to me without my approval. But if I had to do it over, I wouldn't do a single thing differently. I'd still choose a team of midwives as my primary providers. I'd still choose to give birth with those midwives in the hospital setting, rather than in the free-standing birth center, which was a decision that I went back and forth on many times. And I'd still feel proud of the choices I made, the pain I endured, and the help that I accepted.

Sorry for the heavy post. I'm in the process of writing out the story of Finn's birth, and I'm trying to figure out just how I feel about how it all went down. It was a pretty overwhelming and empowering day. And it came with one hell of a prize.

Mommas- how well did the picture you had in your head of your birth match up with your experience? How did you feel about it? Moms to be- how much will you try to plan out your birth?

Catchup: Two Months

2011-06-22T11:24:00.000-04:00

May 23:

Dear Finn,

This month flew by, probably because the end of it marked almost the end of my maternity leave. I have to say that we enjoyed every last second to the fullest though, even if it meant that most days I got nothing done but holding you! Your dad and I feel like we have finally found a rhythm to having you in our lives, and I've even adjusted to the short stretches of sleep that have become my new normal. It's all worth it for the joy of getting to have you in our lives, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart, as cheesy as it sounds. I'd always heard other parents say that they love watching their children grow and discover new things, but I never really appreciated what they meant until you got here. It's amazing to watch you become more and more alert, notice new things in your world, make new noises and become stronger. I swear you change every single day!

This month you smiled purposefully at me for the first time, and my heart just melted. Just a few days later, you smiled at your dad. Now we spent lots of time trying to get you to smile, and you quite frequently reward our efforts with a big wide-mouthed grin.

This month your newborn squeaks were replaced with real baby babbles. You love to say "ahhhhhhh" and "laaaaaaa", and sometimes it even sounds like you're saying "hiiiiii"! We love to lay you in your crib and watch you march your little arms and legs around while having conversations with us. You've started putting weight on your legs now, and you really like to be held upright in our laps. Your favorite times of the day are those spent naked, whether it's in the tub or while being changed. We've started letting you have naked tummy time, which you absolutely love!

We've been pretty successful taking you with us wherever we go, and this month you've been to lots of restaurants, a couple of bars (gasp!), and to a wedding in Washington, DC. I'm pretty sure you were trying your hardest to get some baby playmates out of that last outing, because you were on your very best behavior, thus tricking many of our friends into thinking babies are so easy! You are really easy to travel with though, as you always fall asleep in the car, and you don't mind being bounced around in the Bjorn carrier or in your stroller. You love going on walks in your stroller with your friend Amelia, who is one year older than you, and I can't wait until you can play on the playground with her instead of watching intently from my arms.

We're still breastfeeding successfully, and have even gotten better at some semi-public feeding sessions. I'm pumping as well, building up a stash for you for when I go back to work, and you will take a bottle like a champ as well. There's definitely something about the boob for you though; bedtime and those middle of the night wakeups just don't work without it! You're still waking up quite a bit in the middle of the night, although you'll do a four hour stretch for us pretty often.

Two Month Stats: 12 lbs, 14 oz ~ 75th%, 24" ~ 75th%
Size: You're wearing mostly three month clothes. One-size BumGenius diapers- and we had to move you to the second rise setting this month. When you do wear disposables you're in size 2.
Nicknames: Finny, Finno, Little Man, Peanutty (mom), Boo Boo, Huckleberry (mostly by your uncles), Bubby (dad), Mini (mom), Finnbo (your Mimi and Granddoux)
Must-haves: Bumbleride stroller, Rainforest Playmat
Milestones:
April 25: you cried real tears for the first time when Duncan barked loudly next to you
April 30: your first wedding- Anna and Chris in DC
May 4: your first real smile at Mom!
May 13: a memorable off the changing table onto the wall pooptastrophe
May 21: your first whole day with Dad while Mom went to a wedding

We can't believe how much you've changed (once again), and are loving every second of getting to know you. You've made us a family, and I just love watching your dad be your dad. You're a lucky little duck to have a dad like him :) It's split right down the middle how many people tell us that you look just like him or just like me. We think it changes day to day, but we both agree- you're a cute little booger.

Love you so much I can't stand it,
Momma

Father's Day Firsts

2011-06-20T22:58:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, this duo hit the pool for Finn's first swim.

It definitely was NOT a success at first.

But eventually he warmed up to the idea.

Happy First Father's Day to the best Dad ever!

Catchup: One Month

2011-06-17T22:50:00.001-04:00

April 23:

Dear Finn,

What a whirlwind your first month in our lives has been! It's been the best month of our lives, really. Your dad and I pinch ourselves daily and ask each other, "do you believe we have a baby!?" I also wonder how we got so lucky as to get a baby as adorable and wonderful and did I say adorable, as you. I just can't get over how much I love you, and how much I love your dad for making YOU possible. We have spent so much time this month just sitting and staring at you and somehow we never get tired of it. I'm sorry, because I'm going to be saying this to you all of the time, but it seems like you are growing up so fast, before my very eyes! You're already so different from the curled-up little newborn that you were one month ago.

After a rough start at home (I had just a few crazy complications after popping you out), a brief return to the hospital followed by a stay at your Maryland grandparents' house (who have yet to choose names for themselves), we returned home for the second time when you were ten days old and we're here to stay! You had your "one week" appointment at nine days and you were two ounces above your birth weight at 8 pounds, 13 ounces. You've taking to nursing like a champ, and I can't thank you enough for all the reassurance that's given your momma.

Right now you're eating just about every two hours, and sleeping a lot in between feedings. You have started to be much more alert though, and you spent at least one span of time in between eating wide awake. Instead of staring off into space now you stare and stare at our faces and even make eye contact some of the time. Overnight you sometimes wake up every two hours, but you've started giving us some longer stretches, a few times even sleeping almost six in a row! Unfortunately that hasn't exactly become a regular habit, but it's okay, I really don't mind spending the quiet time with you in your nursery in the middle of the night. Your dad helps a lot, getting up to change your diaper (he actually changed every one of them for the first week of your life!) and bringing you to me in bed.

You love your baths in the sink inside your Puj tub, and if you're not in our arms, your favorite place to be is in your green vibrating bouncy seat. You've started to notice your dog, Duncan, and your eyes get so big as you watch him walk by you. You have been trying hard to hold your head up right from the start, and you can now easily turn it from one side to the other during tummy time. At first you didn't seem to like diaper changes one bit (and let us know about it!), but now you don't mind your changing table and even let us get you dressed without much fussing. You love to walk around our neighborhood in your Bjorn carrier or your stroller, and even started riding in your stroller without the car seat, which makes you look so grown up!

One Month Stats: 11 lbs, 10 oz ~ 80th%, 22.75" ~ 80th% (4/29/11)
Size: You're wearing mostly three month clothes, but still squeezing into a couple of newborn outfits. You've been wearing cloth diapers since you were ten days old, and from the start you fit pretty well into the one-size BumGenius diapers at their smallest setting. When you do wear disposables you're in size 1 (and outgrew the newborn size after a week!).
Nicknames: Finny, Finno, Little Man, Peanutty (mom), Boo Boo, Huckleberry (mostly by your uncles)
Must-haves: aden + anais Jungle Jam swaddling blankets, Rainforest bouncer seat, Bjorn Carrier
Milestones:
March 26: you came home for the first time and met your big brother Duncan the schnauzer
April 4: your belly button stump fell off
April 6: you found out that your Auntie Kate is going to give you a new little friend in December!
April 8: your first lunch out, at Five Guys with your mom, dad, and Mimi
April 19: you discovered the mobile on your swing
April 20: you let us know that you hate broccoli!

Little man, you've changed our lives forever and already you've brought us more joy than we ever thought possible. We love you just a little bit more every day.

Love you so much I can't stand it,
Momma

We Survived!

2011-06-01T21:59:00.000-04:00

Thank you all for your sweet comments and advice. Finn and I wanted you to know that we made it through our first day of me going back to work. He had a great day with his nanny and I didn't hate being back at my office as much as I thought I might. If I could offer any advice about going back to work, I'd recommend going back gradually if it's at all possible. I'm only working one and a half days this week (and next week I'll work my new normal schedule of three and a half days). It just seems a lot more doable to me this way. I'm sure I'll have rough days, as will Mr. Finn, but we feel a lot better having the first daunting day behind us.

I sure was glad to get home to my little man though.

In other news,

...double digits baby.